The Outing Of Barrie Lochrie
- Thread starter Patience
- Start date
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Barrie sat in his Vauxhall Corsa as it passed through the car wash humming the Famine song. All the windows were soaped up and no one could see in so, for the briefest moments, he thought about having a ****. But his two kids were in the back so he decided against it.
After dropping them off at school, Barrie was at a loss as to how to fill his day. He was delivering a motivational speech to a bunch of spastics tonight in Motherwell so he didn't want to overdo it. He felt a twinge in his back. It had been aching since him and Iain *****ger had wrestled naked in front of a roaring fire at Iain's £128,700 mansion in Marbella. Barrie had smashed a porcelain bust of Iain’s wife Patience and he had had to leave.
Before he knew it he was at a massage parlour and had paid his £10 entry. Before he could get to the changing rooms he slipped out of his pin stripe dungarees and could feel the fragrant steam of the sauna tickle his massive balls like a poacher under a trout.
He applied a towel to his lower torso, barely able to conceal his pulsating pink fire hydrant. He stepped into the room and lay down on the pleather massage table pushing his face through the hole and letting his cock hang over the side.
Behind him the door opened and Barrie's pussy senses were raised to Severe. The aroma of chicken and sweetcorn soup and Morecambe Bay cockles hit him like a steam train and he knew right then that he would sire another child.
Small hands covered in oil began to explore his muscular, fakebake coloured bodywork. As the girl's hands reached his proud buttocks he tried everything in his power to conceal a huge fart he had been brewing since he'd parked in the multi storey car park.
When the girl slipped a greasy little finger up his April he let out a yelp and nearly roared "Awooga" but he stopped himself. The hands of the girl motioned him to turn over, which he duly did.
His eyes found a young Chinese girl wearing a little white tunic which he knew concealed a pair of juicy little bristols and almost certainly a clunge as ripe and yellow as a week old banana. As he lay on his back, blood rushed into his veiny Tower of Pisa quicker than Asians into a Cash And Carry at 8.59am. He lay there looking like a pink drawing pin as the girl starting applying more and more oil. He was so hard and tall that he worried slightly that the price of oil may be affected by his erection.
Her tiny hands kneeded his giant oak and at one point Barrie half thought she was an Ewok trying to climb a Giant Red on Endor. He leapt up and ripped open her tunic revealing, as he had suspected, a gorgeous set of two tits, nipples as dark as Green and Black 70% and a pussy so wet and hairless he was reminded of Duncan Goodhew.
He dived into her like a released rapist and set about plunging into every orifice that was available and some that were not. Within hours he was on his vinegars and let rip with such a gush of spunk that the poor girl tried in vein to make a call to the Morecambe Bay coastguard.
Spent, sweating and panting Barrie untangled his yawning plonker and slipped on his dungarees. The girl, who later from police reports he found was called Hi Tide Run, lay on the floor, a shredded mess of manfat, baby oil, matted hair and rice. Barrie looked at his Casio watch/calculator and saw that the spastic thing started in 20 minutes. He bent down over the Chinese meal he had just demolished, whisphered "Awooga" in her ear and patted her on the fanny.
After dropping them off at school, Barrie was at a loss as to how to fill his day. He was delivering a motivational speech to a bunch of spastics tonight in Motherwell so he didn't want to overdo it. He felt a twinge in his back. It had been aching since him and Iain *****ger had wrestled naked in front of a roaring fire at Iain's £128,700 mansion in Marbella. Barrie had smashed a porcelain bust of Iain’s wife Patience and he had had to leave.
Before he knew it he was at a massage parlour and had paid his £10 entry. Before he could get to the changing rooms he slipped out of his pin stripe dungarees and could feel the fragrant steam of the sauna tickle his massive balls like a poacher under a trout.
He applied a towel to his lower torso, barely able to conceal his pulsating pink fire hydrant. He stepped into the room and lay down on the pleather massage table pushing his face through the hole and letting his cock hang over the side.
Behind him the door opened and Barrie's pussy senses were raised to Severe. The aroma of chicken and sweetcorn soup and Morecambe Bay cockles hit him like a steam train and he knew right then that he would sire another child.
Small hands covered in oil began to explore his muscular, fakebake coloured bodywork. As the girl's hands reached his proud buttocks he tried everything in his power to conceal a huge fart he had been brewing since he'd parked in the multi storey car park.
When the girl slipped a greasy little finger up his April he let out a yelp and nearly roared "Awooga" but he stopped himself. The hands of the girl motioned him to turn over, which he duly did.
His eyes found a young Chinese girl wearing a little white tunic which he knew concealed a pair of juicy little bristols and almost certainly a clunge as ripe and yellow as a week old banana. As he lay on his back, blood rushed into his veiny Tower of Pisa quicker than Asians into a Cash And Carry at 8.59am. He lay there looking like a pink drawing pin as the girl starting applying more and more oil. He was so hard and tall that he worried slightly that the price of oil may be affected by his erection.
Her tiny hands kneeded his giant oak and at one point Barrie half thought she was an Ewok trying to climb a Giant Red on Endor. He leapt up and ripped open her tunic revealing, as he had suspected, a gorgeous set of two tits, nipples as dark as Green and Black 70% and a pussy so wet and hairless he was reminded of Duncan Goodhew.
He dived into her like a released rapist and set about plunging into every orifice that was available and some that were not. Within hours he was on his vinegars and let rip with such a gush of spunk that the poor girl tried in vein to make a call to the Morecambe Bay coastguard.
Spent, sweating and panting Barrie untangled his yawning plonker and slipped on his dungarees. The girl, who later from police reports he found was called Hi Tide Run, lay on the floor, a shredded mess of manfat, baby oil, matted hair and rice. Barrie looked at his Casio watch/calculator and saw that the spastic thing started in 20 minutes. He bent down over the Chinese meal he had just demolished, whisphered "Awooga" in her ear and patted her on the fanny.
Dev's been writing these for years and biding his time for someone else to start a thread.
Yeah I saw that, quite tiresome in all honesty, but I suppose it takes all sorts to make up the world and certainly GC.Chatbox meltdown
EDGE.
Official POTY 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 & 2023
The two couldn’t come from much different stock. Russ was from a staunch and proudly Protestant background where Presbyterian values of hard work, virtue and ****ing the pope were in stark contrast to that of Mindy Theduck who came from a family of uneducated navvies who arrived on the Broomielaw on a hijacked German u-boat which had been refuelling a Dublin docks.
Russ had turned his back on his family. They couldn’t believe that he’d went against the Provan traditions of joining HM forces and upholding the Union which binds us, they’d long suspected that he’d been compromised by Rome when they caught him having an upside down masturbation session with him finishing off in his own mouth. Shortly afterwards, he had went against his father’s wishes and went to the *****’s lair to watch known child abuse harbourer, Jock Stein’s Celtic, CHEAT their way to title after title.
Mindy on the other hand couldn’t have made his family any prouder and by the age of 14, he had reached an echelon that generations of his own family could only dream of… he could tie his shoe laces and could tell the difference between single glazing and double glazing just by using his tongue.
The future lovers were different but almost entirely compatible it was almost uncanny. It was a big night at Celtic Park, Celtic were playing in the champions league vs Barcelona in the biggest game of Celtic’s recent history, a night that legends could be made and Russ and Mindy were on Not606 watching Rangers vs Brechin on an obscure dark web screening site discussing if the EBT Fernando Ricksen had contributed to the debilitating MND which had rendered the likable Rangers legend to a wheelchair.
As the guys talked, it became apparent that both shared the longing for a spam javelin in the ass, Russ thrown out of the army for having a gay affair with Twizz Davies and Mindy was well versed on the mechanics of an erupting penis having been brought up by Jesuit Priests in the hills above Carfin…
It was a matter of time before bum gravy was shared…
Russ had turned his back on his family. They couldn’t believe that he’d went against the Provan traditions of joining HM forces and upholding the Union which binds us, they’d long suspected that he’d been compromised by Rome when they caught him having an upside down masturbation session with him finishing off in his own mouth. Shortly afterwards, he had went against his father’s wishes and went to the *****’s lair to watch known child abuse harbourer, Jock Stein’s Celtic, CHEAT their way to title after title.
Mindy on the other hand couldn’t have made his family any prouder and by the age of 14, he had reached an echelon that generations of his own family could only dream of… he could tie his shoe laces and could tell the difference between single glazing and double glazing just by using his tongue.
The future lovers were different but almost entirely compatible it was almost uncanny. It was a big night at Celtic Park, Celtic were playing in the champions league vs Barcelona in the biggest game of Celtic’s recent history, a night that legends could be made and Russ and Mindy were on Not606 watching Rangers vs Brechin on an obscure dark web screening site discussing if the EBT Fernando Ricksen had contributed to the debilitating MND which had rendered the likable Rangers legend to a wheelchair.
As the guys talked, it became apparent that both shared the longing for a spam javelin in the ass, Russ thrown out of the army for having a gay affair with Twizz Davies and Mindy was well versed on the mechanics of an erupting penis having been brought up by Jesuit Priests in the hills above Carfin…
It was a matter of time before bum gravy was shared…
Scene 6 - Kevin has returned to his B & B in war torn Gillingham
He wailed and swung, yet his filthy black fists barely made a dent in the dry wall. 'How had it come to this?!', he raged. From the riches of the Congo and her deep green jungle, to Quality Control on the Digestive Line at a biscuit factory in Gillingham.
He cast his thick, mono-browed, slanting forehead back to when he'd been offered that All-Inclusive One-Way ticket to the United Kingdom on the back of his father's Banana Boat. His father, the troop's Silverback, had implored Kevin to get out in to the real world and experience life, yet here was Kevin living in Gillingham and spending his free time as an unpaid moderator on a faceless internet forum where no one liked him - even then, this was the closest he would get to friends when he wasn't hugging a watermelon
How could he better his situation? He could try to learn English, yet it was clear to all who encountered him that this pitiful sambo would only ever be fluent in Jigaboo. Suddenly, he realised what he had to do: he decided he would use his moderator privileges to carry out a horrible and disgusting underhand attack on the family of 2 of the stalwarts of GC, Pud and Barrie. He deceitfully obtained private information on them and then contacted their spouses, sending photos of his horribly small and malformed penis, whilst implicating them both in various GC Scandals.
If this wasn't upsetting for all involved, it was then released to the press that Kevin was in fact involved in the murder of James Bulger and the police had also found his fingerprints on the batteries recovered from the child's arse. Whilst the press went tonto on this, the police also found the fingerprints of Kevin on the gun used to kill Reece Matthews, and that Kevin had also been in a long term **** Triangle with Levi Bellfield and Robert Black.
He wailed and swung, yet his filthy black fists barely made a dent in the dry wall. 'How had it come to this?!', he raged. From the riches of the Congo and her deep green jungle, to Quality Control on the Digestive Line at a biscuit factory in Gillingham.
He cast his thick, mono-browed, slanting forehead back to when he'd been offered that All-Inclusive One-Way ticket to the United Kingdom on the back of his father's Banana Boat. His father, the troop's Silverback, had implored Kevin to get out in to the real world and experience life, yet here was Kevin living in Gillingham and spending his free time as an unpaid moderator on a faceless internet forum where no one liked him - even then, this was the closest he would get to friends when he wasn't hugging a watermelon
How could he better his situation? He could try to learn English, yet it was clear to all who encountered him that this pitiful sambo would only ever be fluent in Jigaboo. Suddenly, he realised what he had to do: he decided he would use his moderator privileges to carry out a horrible and disgusting underhand attack on the family of 2 of the stalwarts of GC, Pud and Barrie. He deceitfully obtained private information on them and then contacted their spouses, sending photos of his horribly small and malformed penis, whilst implicating them both in various GC Scandals.
If this wasn't upsetting for all involved, it was then released to the press that Kevin was in fact involved in the murder of James Bulger and the police had also found his fingerprints on the batteries recovered from the child's arse. Whilst the press went tonto on this, the police also found the fingerprints of Kevin on the gun used to kill Reece Matthews, and that Kevin had also been in a long term **** Triangle with Levi Bellfield and Robert Black.
The Mangled Baldies
A Crime Thriller
by Smartarse
Mangled bald men have been turning up all over Portugal and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a Potato peeler, and still nobody has a clue who the obsessed killer is.
DI Russ Provan is a **** and Cock hungry ex cop with a fondness for EBTs. He doesn't know it yet but he is the only one who can stop the ****y killer.
When his Brother, Mick Provan, is kidnapped, DI Provan finds himself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a tattered keyboard.
He enlists the help of a Free loving Call centre operator called Toby Le Poo
Can Le Poo help Provan overcome his Young boys addiction and find the answers before the smelly killer and his deadly Potato peeler strike again?
A Crime Thriller
by Smartarse
Mangled bald men have been turning up all over Portugal and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a Potato peeler, and still nobody has a clue who the obsessed killer is.
DI Russ Provan is a **** and Cock hungry ex cop with a fondness for EBTs. He doesn't know it yet but he is the only one who can stop the ****y killer.
When his Brother, Mick Provan, is kidnapped, DI Provan finds himself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a tattered keyboard.
He enlists the help of a Free loving Call centre operator called Toby Le Poo
Can Le Poo help Provan overcome his Young boys addiction and find the answers before the smelly killer and his deadly Potato peeler strike again?
Mitch is stunning
He always was a handsome bastard.
Cracking looking bloke.Mitch is stunning
Ours went back last Tuesday****ing school holidays are a Bastard though
Ours went back last Tuesday
I know I've been getting some swatch
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