Match Day Thread Blackburn Rovers vs Southampton, Sat 6th April, 15:00

Enough misery, I say. Enough!

We must move on with blue marker in hand, like a demented Tory poster writer. We must prevail. We must head north to conquer. We must get Shoehorn Stephens in the team again. We must channel our anger toward Blackburn for being the spiritual home of our latest pantomime bellend, Jason Wilcox.

Moreover, we must now win ten games in a row and I shall take us through it, hand in hand, like an over-protective balding mother back to the promised land of VAR and 9-0 losses. It is our destiny.

As most of you will know, The Beatles, at their prophetic best wrote a song about this fixture, called Blackburn, and I've faithfully reprinted the lyrics for you below to sing along to in your own time. That's in your own time, like a Bazunu dive.

Blackburn (McCartney, no, not Alex. That's McCarthy).

Blackburn winning because we are ****e,
Sell off Danny Ings and learn to cry.
Keep ball for life,
Perpetually waiting for a moment to arise.

Blackburn scoring on ninety-nine,
Maybe we regret playing Bree.
Keep ball for life.
Why the **** didn't you start KWP?

(Are you) Barry Fry,
Barry Fry.
Bree on the right,
And a DM light...

Shoehorn Stephens in cos it's right,
He's like Tyrone Mings without the bite.
Keep ball for life,
Baz will start his dive at about midnight.
Ball for life...
Let's just keep possession, I'm sure it will end right.


I think you'll all agree, one of their finest.

Onto the game itself, and I have no idea which referee it'll be. Probably someone a bit rubbish, but at least they have to make decisions.

Szmodics will score. Probably in the 99th minute, as predicted by The Beatles, with a pea-shooter that dribbles through Bazunu's legs, after we've held a comfortable 1-0 lead and sat on it as if it were 1000-0 for about 80 minutes.


In all seriousness though. Please just play your best team. In case you were wondering what that was, here it is, Russ -

Bazunu
KWP THB Bednarek Manning/Bree
Downes Aribo
Armstrong (A) Armstrong (S) Fraser
Adams

Practice the hell out of one touch, quick, progressive football with attacking intent this week. Then do it in the game.

If we do that for the next 8 games, well. Who knows? (Other than The Beatles).

 

As I've never tried to create a Match Day thread before, I reasoned that Things Can Only Get Better, so here goes:

Saints are doing their best to cement their place in this season's playoffs, by failing to score more than most other teams. Blackburn are next up, so we can only hope that a combination of lucky deflections, missed chances, dodgy refereeing decisions, incorrect offsides and world-class goalkeeping will result in a Saints win.
There should be gaps in the opposition's defence, as there are apparently 4000 holes in Blackburn Lancashire

 

Looks like Laces beat you to it! Sorry, I’ll merge you so you get a share of his glory.

 

I did say I was going to do one!

 

We can be the Bednarek and THB of threads...

 

LTL, thanks for this. I had just created a far inferior effort at a Blackburn Match Day thread, but now we have this, combined with Saints undoubted upturn in their footballing fortunes, there will be no need for anyone else to create a Match Day thread until the FA Cup Third Round, next year.

 

I know Smallbone isn't popular, but I'd have him in our best side over Aribo; was a big part of that unbeaten run we had.

 

Chilcs, please feel free to put my feeble attempt into the wastebin of Not606 history. I much prefer LTL's thread-making skills

 

In my case, it would more like the Bert and Ernie of threads.... Well, Ernie, anyway

 

It’s part of not606 history now Lemo, and maybe a joint merged thread approach will be the secret ingredient that carries the team all the way to Wembley and back into the PL!

 

I really really really hope you don't write the songs for your music artists.

 

Seriously though great thread Laces. As someone said on another thread I wouldn't be opposed to trying Stephens as a DM to help out Downes. I am sure Stephens played DM at one of his loan spells or am I confusing him with someone else?

 

I'm getting out of music - doing some new stuff now, so fear not!

 

That's a shame. Best of luck on the new stuff

 

It's really not. The new thing is much more interesting. Music is screwed right now, best off out. (thank you though!)

 

Marv, this IS LTL's 'New Stuff'! As we're on our way to being undefeated World Club Champions, via the Champions League, by way of Premier League champions, passing through the Championship Play Off final, Le Tissier's Laces now has a full time job, creating evermore helpful, informative, but above all, winning threads.

 

Well if he surpasses.....loading it will seem like a full-time job.

 

Duplicate post
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Well best of luck in your new venture. Got to do what makes you happy.

 

I`m perfectly happy keeping Stephens in the team. The Blackburn team talk will go something like `just be horrible and stay in the game for an hour, then they`ll give us chances to draw or win the game`.