Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD
- Thread starter Garlic Klopp
- Start date
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I've been having a problem with nuisance phone calls...
The most common one seems to be, "You said you'd be home from the pub three hours ago!"
The most common one seems to be, "You said you'd be home from the pub three hours ago!"
Funniest Goalkeeper Moment of the Year
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Next time someone wants a vegan meal, serve them up a steak and tell them it's quorn.
They're always saying "it's just like meat, you can't tell the difference"
The proof of the quorn is in the eating.
They're always saying "it's just like meat, you can't tell the difference"
The proof of the quorn is in the eating.
Dont fart in Harrods
A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond
bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more
closely, she unexpectedly farts.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed
her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of
a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect
of a professional in a store like Harrods.
He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help
you today?
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman
somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of
this lovely bracelet?'
He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going
to **** yourself when I tell you the price!"
A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond
bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more
closely, she unexpectedly farts.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed
her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of
a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect
of a professional in a store like Harrods.
He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help
you today?
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman
somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of
this lovely bracelet?'
He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going
to **** yourself when I tell you the price!"
