Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
My sex change operation from male to female last week went really well.
In fact it was so successful I'm still trying to reverse out of the hospital car park.
In fact it was so successful I'm still trying to reverse out of the hospital car park.
- My wife was telling her friend that obesity is in her genes.
- I was compelled to point out that wasn"t true as she looks like a fat cnut in a skirt as well.
- I suppose if I had a choice between diseases, I would prefer to be a schizophrenic kleptomaniac.
- After all, you never feel alone....and if it gets too bad, you can always take something for it.
- I live in a mainly Muslim community and I"m really fed up with the politically correct bollocks around here.
- My local pub had to change its name from The Flying Pig,
- nobody speaks English in any shop you go in and you can barely cook a bacon sarnie without upsetting some Pakistani or another!
- So I was so happy to see my local swimming pool fighting back, and ruining their fun for a change.
- It had big sign on the wall stating:STRICTLY NO BOMBING
Just had two Police Officers at my door!
They said; “Are you familiar with the letters HB?”
I replied, “No, I’m not.”
“How about LS?”
“No.”
“What about JD?”
I asked, “Hang on a minute, am I a suspect or something?”
The police officers said, “No, these are just initial enquiries.”
They said; “Are you familiar with the letters HB?”
I replied, “No, I’m not.”
“How about LS?”
“No.”
“What about JD?”
I asked, “Hang on a minute, am I a suspect or something?”
The police officers said, “No, these are just initial enquiries.”
- My wife caught me cheating on her again last weekend.
- She said, "every time you shag another women, a part of me dies."
- A few more shags should finish the job!