Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
-
Please bear with us on the new site integration and fixing any known bugs over the coming days. If you can not log in please try resetting your password and check your spam box. If you have tried these steps and are still struggling email [email protected] with your username/registered email address
-
A man asks his friend, "what"s the most common French expression?"
His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give up!"
His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give up!"
This bloke goes to see his doctor and says, "every time I fart, it sounds like a Honda motorbike.
"So the doc asks the chap to pull his pants down and bend over.
Sure enough, the man farts loudly and its sounds like a Honda motorbike.
The doc says, "you"ve got an abscess up your arse."
The bloke says, "surely it can"t make my arse make noises like that."
The old doctor says, with a cheeky smile, "abscess makes the fart go Honda!"
"So the doc asks the chap to pull his pants down and bend over.
Sure enough, the man farts loudly and its sounds like a Honda motorbike.
The doc says, "you"ve got an abscess up your arse."
The bloke says, "surely it can"t make my arse make noises like that."
The old doctor says, with a cheeky smile, "abscess makes the fart go Honda!"
Theres two fellas running down the road, shouting "Help! Help! A lion"s escaped!"
A passerby said, "Which way did it go?"
One of the fellas says, "You stupid twat, you don"t think we"re f*cking" chasing it do ya?"
A passerby said, "Which way did it go?"
One of the fellas says, "You stupid twat, you don"t think we"re f*cking" chasing it do ya?"
Hey Woopert 1981 must be good so why doesn't it reveal itself cant open the little bugger
Hey Woopert 1981 must be good so why doesn't it reveal itself cant open the little bugger
Sorry - it opens o.k. on my laptop.
You must log in or register to see images
My wife has started visiting a new hairdressers run by a Geordie girl.
Today my wife asked for a "perm".
The Geordie girl started, "I wandered lonely as a cloud..."
Today my wife asked for a "perm".
The Geordie girl started, "I wandered lonely as a cloud..."
I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog ****e.
A minute later, some guy did exactly the same.
I said to him, "I just did that."
So he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastard.
A minute later, some guy did exactly the same.
I said to him, "I just did that."
So he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastard.
I told you I was working class......
You must log in or register to see images