A drunk staggers into the back of a taxi. He leans towards the driver and says,"excuse me,have you got room for a lobster and 3 bottles of wine on your front seat?" "I think so,"says the driver "Good," replies the drunk,and throws up.
Due to an unfortunate spacing error while booking our holiday, I am now looking forward to a week on the Norfolk B roads.
Female Prison guard at HMP Berwyn jailed for having sex with prisoner. Shame, apparently she was a really good Screw.
A blonde calls up an airline ticket counter and asks, "How long are your flights from London to Glasgow?" The ticket clerk replies, "just a minute, madam..." "Thank you", says the blonde, and hangs up.
What"s the difference between a hedgehog and a bus full of United supporters? The hedgehog"s got the pricks on the outside.
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus: Dear Santa, Please can you send me a baby brother. Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother then ..."
