Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
- Bill Clinton is walking down a corridor in the White House when he sees a pretty young girl walking towards him.
- "Hello," he says "Are you new here?"
- "Yes," she replies "I started yesterday."
- "Ah," answers Bill "I thought I hadn"t come across your face before."
- How come a Securicor cash delivery van carrying maybe 70,000 quid is armoured with plated steel and the driver wears a stab proof vest and a protective helmet, when a fuel tanker driver carrying petrol worth 200,000 quid has nothing to defend himself with apart from a rolled up porno mag.
- My mother-in-law was always nagging.
- She said I would never make anything of myself.
- So I strangled her and made myself a murderer.
- What"s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
- Outlaws are wanted.
My girlfriend just walked out of the kitchen, looked at me and said, "I'm afraid that you need to get a new dish washer."
I said to myself, "That's a strange f*cking way to break up with someone!!
I said to myself, "That's a strange f*cking way to break up with someone!!
Please wish me luck with this year's London Marathon.
I managed 3 hours, 12 minutes and 9 seconds last year.
This year I will try to beat that, but I usually get bored and turn over to watch something else.
I managed 3 hours, 12 minutes and 9 seconds last year.
This year I will try to beat that, but I usually get bored and turn over to watch something else.