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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #9621
    antipodean exile, Apr 18, 2019
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Never mind Brexit ......

    The whole of Manchester left Europe in 2 days.....
     
    #9622
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 18, 2019
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • My uncle died the other day.
    • He was a deck chair attendant.
    • Took the fcukers five attempts before they got him in the coffin.
     
    #9623
    antipodean exile, Apr 19, 2019
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • They"ve invented a new condom that cures premature ejaculation.
    • It"s coated on the inside with anaesthtetic.
    • The big advantage is that you can turn them inside out and have her up the wrong "un and not have to wake her up and listen to her complaining.
     
    #9624
    antipodean exile, Apr 19, 2019
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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • "Do you know what rohypnol smells like?
    • No? ...Can I buy you a drink?"
     
    #9625
    antipodean exile, Apr 19, 2019
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #9626
    antipodean exile, Apr 19, 2019
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #9627
    antipodean exile, Apr 19, 2019
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #9628
    antipodean exile, Apr 19, 2019
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #9629
    antipodean exile, Apr 19, 2019
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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #9630
    antipodean exile, Apr 19, 2019
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  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #9631
    antipodean exile, Apr 19, 2019
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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #9632
    antipodean exile, Apr 19, 2019
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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #9633
    antipodean exile, Apr 19, 2019
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #9634
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 19, 2019
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9635
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 19, 2019
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I’ve just written a short book about falling down a staircase.

    It’s a step by step guide ....
     
    #9636
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 20, 2019
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    You need sound !!

     
    #9637
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 20, 2019
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9638
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 20, 2019
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  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • One day a black man is walking down the street when he sees an empty coke can and kicks it.
    • A genie appears from the can and grants the man one wish.
    • He replies, "i wanna be white and surrounded by pussy",
    • so the genie turns him into a tampon.
    • The moral of the story?
    • You may get what you want, but it will always come with strings attached!
     
    #9639
    antipodean exile, Apr 21, 2019
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  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • Why is sex like the army?
    • The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
     
    #9640
    antipodean exile, Apr 21, 2019
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