What day of the week is it thread

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Next to the evelope is a pair of scissors. If not, to the far left is the Windows icon. Clicking that and scrolling down you will see the scissors (called Snip & Sketch). Right click on that, select More and then select Pin to Task Bar. That will put it on the Task Bar for convenience in future. Then, whenever you want to post anything on your screen you just click on the scissors, select New and you can select whatever you want by just dragging the mouse from top left to bottom right. Place the cursor in your post and press Ctrl+V to paste it in

EG
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Well, what a relief!! At long last, I’ve finally had some good luck for a change!
I saw a fortune-teller recently who told me to beware of a stranger who will try and take me for a mug and con me out of a large cash sum during the next 3 weeks.
Well, I’ve been careful and the 3 weeks are up today, and brilliant!.. nothing’s happened!!

Best £500 quid I’ve ever spent.
 
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A woman asked a General in the army the last time he made love to a woman, the general stood tall and said "1956 ma'am." The woman, taken back by this answer said "1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better..." and the two sauntered away to a private room. The woman began to strip and the two made passionate love for an hour. The woman cuddled up to the army general afterward and said "well, you sure haven't forgotten any thing since 1956...". The general looked at her confused and said "well I sure hope not. It's only 2130 now!"
 
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Husband and wife were sleeping in the bed. The husband started to rub his wife's arms gently, and tried to have sex with her.
The wife said, "Well, I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow. I need to stay clean and fresh."
Disappointed husband turned to the other side and tried to sleep. After 10 minutes, he turned to his wife's side and asked her in a slow and creepy voice, "You don't have a dental appointment tomorrow. Do you?"
 
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