Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD
- Thread starter Garlic Klopp
- Start date
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Can't make the #NottingHillCarnival this weekend?
No problem,
simply recreate the whole experience at home by bashing some upturned saucepans with a spoon for 16hrs,
cough up £10 for a homemade hotdog,
stab yourself and then hand over your wallet to a complete stranger.
Sorted
No problem,
simply recreate the whole experience at home by bashing some upturned saucepans with a spoon for 16hrs,
cough up £10 for a homemade hotdog,
stab yourself and then hand over your wallet to a complete stranger.
Sorted
I've just been blocked by Gary Barlow on Twitter!
Gary.. whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it!
Gary.. whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it!
A German guy approaches a prostitute and says, "I vish to buy sex vit you."
"OK" says the girl, "I'll charge £20 an hour."
"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."
"No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky." So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs.
"The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her elbows and knees.
"Now you vill get on your hans und knees." She duly does this, balancing on the springs.
"You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you." She find this odd, but it's harmless, and after all the guy is paying well. The sex is fantastic.
She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has recovered her breath to say:
"That was totally amazing, where did you learn how to do that?"
"Ah," says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique"
"OK" says the girl, "I'll charge £20 an hour."
"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."
"No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky." So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs.
"The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her elbows and knees.
"Now you vill get on your hans und knees." She duly does this, balancing on the springs.
"You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you." She find this odd, but it's harmless, and after all the guy is paying well. The sex is fantastic.
She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has recovered her breath to say:
"That was totally amazing, where did you learn how to do that?"
"Ah," says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique"
I don’t think the pharmacist likes me......
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