Don't talk to me about stealing clothes from washing lines... I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt!
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked in my diary..and wanted to know who May & June were......
Medical experts were asked if it is time to ease the lockdown. Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve. Obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a misconception, while Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Many Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while Paediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!" Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and pharmacists claimed it would be a bitter pill to swallow. Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter." Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes.
My ex girlfriend had a fantastic set of tits!. However one was bigger than the other. She wasn't really that self conscious until she entered a wet t shirt contest and came 1st and 3rd!!..
My mate was crying earlier and asked me to console him. So I smacked him on the head with my Xbox.....
