The Daily Arsenal

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You've surely read those little dialogues that I occasionally write? I bet you thought I was making them up, right!
<laugh>

Here's another episode:

[At the local bank]
PIXIE: "I'd like to make a withdrawal, please! From this account..." [PIXIE passes his bank card to the teller]

TELLER: "Yes, sir! How much would you like to withdraw?"

PIXIE: "Not enough to help the Spuds, that's for sure!"

TELLER: "Sorry?"

PIXIE: "I haven't got enough in my account to sort out that shower!"

TELLER: "You want money for potatoes?"

PIXIE: "No."

TELLER: "Enter your pin, sir."

[PIXIE taps his pin into the machine at the side of the counter]

PIXIE: "That's £100, not £100,000,000!"

TELLER: [smiling awkwardly. She feels very uncomfortable] "Of course!"

PIXIE: "That's the minimum the Spuds will need to get themselves top-half, this season!"

TELLER: "What?" [There is irritation in the TELLER's voice, now. She's wants shot of PIXIE, and quickly]

PIXIE: "Mind you, they'd piss it up the wall. AGAIN!!!"

[PIXIE snorts with maniacal laughter, and his eyes blaze like those of a madman. The TELLER is terrified. She wants this to end.]

TELLER: "Check the amount, please, sir!"

PIXIE: "I won't change it - PROMISE!"

TELLER: "I'm not suggesting that you wou...."

PIXIE: "Unlike HIAG! He'd sneak in a couple of zeros and make out it was your fault!"

TELLER: "Please, I have no idea what you are talking about!"

PIXIE: "HIAG is a failed wum!"

TELLER: "I'm sorry, sir, but I must insist that you leave these premises, immediately!"

PIXIE: "You would not believe the times I've "owned" him!"

TELLER: [shouting at the top of her voice, in terror] "Security! Please! Help me!"

PIXIE: "He tells everyone that I spend all my time, hiding under my mum's stairs, naked and alone, ****ing in the dark, but he's only repeating what a mate of mine said!"

TELLER: [crying with abject fear] "For ****sake! Please, someone, call the police! NOW!"

[PIXIE is escorted from the bank and taken to the local police station, where he is cautioned and warned that any future harassment will result in ASBO proceedings]


**** knows what goes on inside your head!...<laugh>
 
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You would not want to be inside my head!*


*Paraphrasing a line from The Silence of the Lambs"
 
Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger says his team have been "very average" this season after collecting four points from three Premier League games.
(BBC Football website)

<applause>
At long last! A Gooner who is calling it like it is!

Arsenal have been ****e, even their manager acknowledges that fact! Mind you, that will not appease shrewd Gooners, such as Brunei and 87, who both want rid of Wenger, and who are growing tired of the apologists, such as PIXIE, G4E, and that Welsh mod.
 
Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger says his team have been "very average" this season after collecting four points from three Premier League games.
(BBC Football website)

<applause>
At long last! A Gooner who is calling it like it is!

Arsenal have been ****e, even their manager acknowledges that fact! Mind you, that will not appease shrewd Gooners, such as Brunei and 87, who both want rid of Wenger, and who are growing tired of the apologists, such as PIXIE, G4E, and that Welsh mod.


oi hiag i am not a Wenger apologist - i wrote the "consciously uncoupling" thread about how me and AW have gone our separate ways !!!!! keep up ffs
 
My bad, G4E!

I'll take you name out of the PIXIE list, and put it in the 87 list.
<ok>
 
Piers Morgan has Tweeted, saying that he spent 20 minutes trying to convince John Terry to leave Chelsea and join Arsenal, but failed.

When did AFC put this twat in charge of their transfer policy?

Gooners must be thoroughly ashamed of the fact that Piers Morgan is counted among their number. Mind you, I can image him and 87 getting along like a house of fire!
 
Piers Morgan has Tweeted, saying that he spent 20 minutes trying to convince John Terry to leave Chelsea and join Arsenal, but failed.

When did AFC put this twat in charge of their transfer policy?

Gooners must be thoroughly ashamed of the fact that Piers Morgan is counted among their number. Mind you, I can image him and 87 getting along like a house of fire!

Did Morgan try to chuck in a quick shag with his missus as an added bonus? That might have swung it! :biggrin:
 
Former Manchester United defender Gary Neville says Arsenal are a "soft touch" and lack the "character and winning urge" of potential title winners.
(Daily Telegraph)

<applause>

This man has won everything there is to win, and he knows the score.

Well said, that man!
<ok>
 
"What was evident to me against Liverpool (in a 0-0 draw) was that when one of their two centre-backs is missing, and particularly Laurent Koscielny, Arsenal look so vulnerable. Their strength in depth defensively is not there."
(Danny Murphy, BBC Football)

Here's another top pundit having a pop, and getting it spot on!
 
"So another frustrating transfer window shuts with Arsenal sitting on huge financial resources despite there being a widely held view squad additions were needed. The AST would like the club to review its scouting and playing purchasing arrangements. If they believe all is well they should reflect on what the point is of a football club. If Arsenal run for the benefit of supporters - why does the Club sit on huge cash piles year after year? Whether it needs to be spent on the team is a matter of opinion. If the opinion of the manager is that it doesn't, and the board back him, so be it. However, give the money back to the supporters in lower ticket prices and other benefits."
(Tim Payton, Arsenal Supporters Trust, commenting on the transfer window)

**** me! Even their own are turning on Wenger, now!
 
"What was evident to me against Liverpool (in a 0-0 draw) was that when one of their two centre-backs is missing, and particularly Laurent Koscielny, Arsenal look so vulnerable. Their strength in depth defensively is not there."
(Danny Murphy, BBC Football)

Here's another top pundit having a pop, and getting it spot on!

We had both first choice centre backs out against Liverpool.

HIAG walks into yet another wum fail <laugh>
 
"So another frustrating transfer window shuts with Arsenal sitting on huge financial resources despite there being a widely held view squad additions were needed. The AST would like the club to review its scouting and playing purchasing arrangements. If they believe all is well they should reflect on what the point is of a football club. If Arsenal run for the benefit of supporters - why does the Club sit on huge cash piles year after year? Whether it needs to be spent on the team is a matter of opinion. If the opinion of the manager is that it doesn't, and the board back him, so be it. However, give the money back to the supporters in lower ticket prices and other benefits."
(Tim Payton, Arsenal Supporters Trust, commenting on the transfer window)

**** me! Even their own are turning on Wenger, now!

AST have been critical of Arsenal's transfer policy for a number of years now. It's nothing new.

So that's yet another wum fail you've walked into <laugh> how many more can you **** up before the day is out ?
 
Nice try, PIXIE! But there is no getting out of this one by simply calling "wum!" I'm afraid. Not unless you are calling the head of your own supporters trust a wum?

Which is it, PIXIE?
 
Nice try, PIXIE! But there is no getting out of this one by simply calling "wum!" I'm afraid. Not unless you are calling the head of your own supporters trust a wum?

Which is it, PIXIE?

I'm calling you a wum and a failed wum, for saying that 'even their own are turning on Wenger now' when they have been critical of him for years.

Failed wum attempt No4

Keep em coming <ok>
 
"What was evident to me against Liverpool (in a 0-0 draw) was that when one of their two centre-backs is missing, and particularly Laurent Koscielny, Arsenal look so vulnerable. Their strength in depth defensively is not there."
(Danny Murphy, BBC Football)

Here's another top pundit having a pop, and getting it spot on!
Forget about biased pundits "having a pop". Here's one of your own "having a pop" at your own. :emoticon-0136-giggl

Daniel Levy
by Don_tottenham (U3372)
1 September 2015

"I'm not sure how any Spurs fan can be happy with this situation right now? No one can sit there and bull*** me by saying spurs have got enough options upfront to compliment Kane because Spurs wouldn't be putting in these last minute bids for Berahino if we weren't in desperate need for a striker. Which then leads me to believe that Levy all along knew West brom wouldn't accept. He knew all along these last minute bids were a ploy to show the media and the spurs supporters that he "tried" ...it's like Moutinho, it's like Musachio, it's like Schneiderlin... no doubt in my mind Daniel Levy is pulling the wool over the spurs supporters eyes and has been for years.

Me and a few other supporters on here figured out this bald c*** years ago hence our negative stance on him in regards to our transfer policy. What Levy does in the background in regards to the stadium etc I applaud but that's where it stops!!! stay the f*** in the background Levy and do the internal stuff at spurs like you do but lay the f*** off the transfers you useless c****!!!

We have been down this route year after year with the same mistakes being made year after year. If you wanted Berahino which clearly we did then why wait for the last 2 weeks of the window to make your move? Surely as a number 1 target you go in early so if any complications arise you have enough time to get the deal sorted instead of frantically trying bids with 2 hours to go Son and Njie are 2 exciting signings but they are not "strikers". If Harry Kane get's injured who the hell do we replace him with? Adebayor?

What an utter shambles from top to bottom!!! The fact that the Spurs website changed Hueng min Son's profile online from midfielder to striker speaks volumes despite them denying it. They knew damn well spurs were not going to sign another striker and so did the fans who know how our w**** of a chairman operates. The pathetic "levyd" noise we get from a certain section of our supporters have nothing to say now. Your bald hero has been properly "leavyd" by a guy who wasn't going to take his s**** and I await to see what excuses you have when Harry Kane get's injured and we are left with no striker......not to mention another superb bit of news with Adebayor still lingering around the club like a bad smell to dare is to do???? f*** off!!!!!
"