The Daily Arsenal

5-2 when you lot visit

 

...but we will only win because the ref is a crook, eh PNP?

 

A tosser of the first order, I agree. And, what's worse, a not very bright one!...

 

I agree, NSS.

 

Roma could be about to pay off former England defender Ashley Cole, 34, from the remainder of his contract after he failed to find a place in the squad for the Serie A side's opening game of the season at Verona.
(Observer)

Ker-ching!

That'll suit Cashley down to the ground!

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/fo...hollow-Arsenal-s-goalless-draw-Liverpool.html

 

The Gooner board have a good sense of humor though, well I hope they do anyway.

 

No, Luvvy, they do not.

Try going on their board, after they've suffered a crippling loss, and sharing a joke with them! You'll have Arsenal87, that Welsh Mod, PIXIE, and several more vile Gooners on your back like a pack of hyenas! And, after they have verbally abused you, including making comments about your mother, they will ban you.

All because you went on their board in an attempt to lighten the mood by ripping the piss out of their team's dire performance.

That's how I got banned.

 

Arsenal87 certainly doesn't have a sense of humour.

Or a clue.

 

...or even a brain!...

 

Seems unfair, we'll have to see how my thread goes then. No replies so far but that's expected.

 

No, you got banned for being a bellend, and you're still bitter about it to this day

To be fair though, going on any board after they've lost and trying to take the piss is only ever going to end up one way.

I can't speak for A87, but generally most people will get a good reception on our board. Gonz and most of the Pool lads did last night

 

Aye, twas ok last night tbf no real kicking off between us.

 

Arsenal fans seem to specialise in being crybabies though

 

Like I said, I can't speak for A87. He's in permanent meltdown mode, win, lose or draw.

He's like the HIAG of our board, nobody really takes him seriously

 

Thanks for that!

 

Why do you have to relate everything to HIAG? Do you make HIAG analogies down the pub, round the family dinner table?

 

Because they are very similar. I relate you to HIAG too

 

You've surely read those little dialogues that I occasionally write? I bet you thought I was making them up, right!


Here's another episode:

[At the local bank]
PIXIE: "I'd like to make a withdrawal, please! From this account..." [PIXIE passes his bank card to the teller]

TELLER: "Yes, sir! How much would you like to withdraw?"

PIXIE: "Not enough to help the Spuds, that's for sure!"

TELLER: "Sorry?"

PIXIE: "I haven't got enough in my account to sort out that shower!"

TELLER: "You want money for potatoes?"

PIXIE: "No."

TELLER: "Enter your pin, sir."

[PIXIE taps his pin into the machine at the side of the counter]

PIXIE: "That's £100, not £100,000,000!"

TELLER: [smiling awkwardly. She feels very uncomfortable] "Of course!"

PIXIE: "That's the minimum the Spuds will need to get themselves top-half, this season!"

TELLER: "What?" [There is irritation in the TELLER's voice, now. She's wants shot of PIXIE, and quickly]

PIXIE: "Mind you, they'd piss it up the wall. AGAIN!!!"

[PIXIE snorts with maniacal laughter, and his eyes blaze like those of a madman. The TELLER is terrified. She wants this to end.]

TELLER: "Check the amount, please, sir!"

PIXIE: "I won't change it - PROMISE!"

TELLER: "I'm not suggesting that you wou...."

PIXIE: "Unlike HIAG! He'd sneak in a couple of zeros and make out it was your fault!"

TELLER: "Please, I have no idea what you are talking about!"

PIXIE: "HIAG is a failed wum!"

TELLER: "I'm sorry, sir, but I must insist that you leave these premises, immediately!"

PIXIE: "You would not believe the times I've "owned" him!"

TELLER: [shouting at the top of her voice, in terror] "Security! Please! Help me!"

PIXIE: "He tells everyone that I spend all my time, hiding under my mum's stairs, naked and alone, ****ing in the dark, but he's only repeating what a mate of mine said!"

TELLER: [crying with abject fear] "For ****sake! Please, someone, call the police! NOW!"

[PIXIE is escorted from the bank and taken to the local police station, where he is cautioned and warned that any future harassment will result in ASBO proceedings]

 

#hiagisntwoundup