Shearer's ebar

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Pffftt No punters in awaiting my set? Terrible organisation Obi <wah>

Rules for the set-

1. To heckle, you must have a beer icon before the heckle <ale>. Only alcoholics allowed, none of you social-drinker-types...
2. I will post jokes at indeterminable intervals. I'm a slow typer, I haven't prepared anything for this (because I just remembered) and cutting and pasting from joke websites is hard <wah>
3. Feel free to add your own jokes to the mix.
 
Well I've waited 15 minutes (like a rockstar), only AB is lurking (ready to heckle you git, I know you <laugh>), so I shall begin... Glad this isn't on the Chelsea board or they'd be on their feet and clapping after 16 minutes, and I'd misguidedly just think it was for me :redface:
 
People are missing out on a real treat here you flobberwallets <wah>... after my very first set at the Dog and Parrot comedy club in Newcastle, the bar tender genuinely pulled me over and said "I think you were the best of the night!"... Shame he was talking about the compulsory entry fee hand-job and not my jokes *shudders*
 
Fine... I'll start...

Hello, I'm Gandalf, and I'm a qualified archaeologist... And no, don't worry, I won't just be performing some nerdy in-jokes... I wouldn't dig myself into that hole!
 
Why did Prehistoric people never go into the sea-side coves? Because it was for-midden...


Ok that's my last one, promise. I genuinely came up with that, and left it as a comment to my prehistory lecturer on his performance review. He didn't talk to me again... Which was quite unusual, seeing as he was my tutor <laugh>

But I digress, now, where was I?
 
Gandalf said:
Well I've waited 15 minutes (like a rockstar), only AB is lurking (ready to heckle you git, I know you <laugh>), so I shall begin... Glad this isn't on the Chelsea board or they'd be on their feet and clapping after 16 minutes, and I'd misguidedly just think it was for me :redface:
Click to expand...

Not saying a word you spoilsport.
 
People have said a lot about Callum McManaman recently, rightly or wrongly.

Personally, I'd rather we just stop before it gets too ugly. Shame Callum's mum didn't have a similar thought whilst in labour...
 
Gandalf said:
People have said a lot about Callum McManaman recently, rightly or wrongly.

Personally, I'd rather we just stop before it gets too ugly. Shame Callum's mum didn't have a similar thought whilst in labour...
Click to expand...



<applause><applause><applause> Now that was funny!.......OOPs didn't mean to say it out loud, heckler that I am!
 
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