Post a lie about the poster above.
- Thread starter DMD
- Start date
-
Please bear with us on the new site integration and fixing any known bugs over the coming days. If you can not log in please try resetting your password and check your spam box. If you have tried these steps and are still struggling email [email protected] with your username/registered email address
-
- Status
Woopert thought that ribbed condoms were ones you stepped into and pulled up to your chest.
Woopert thought that it was called '69' because that's how many seconds you can go before you have to come up for air.
Obi wrote to Mary Whitehouse hoping to get Phil Collins banned for the obviously sexually explicit lyrics "coming in the air tonight".
I only did that after DMD's successful campaign to ban the song 'Come on Eileen'.
Obi's childhood was difficult as he regularly misunderstood when his friends asked him to come at tea time.
Poor DMD suffered terrible burns to the roof of his mouth at his birthday party when he was told to blow the candles.
Obi feels so inadequate, as despite many years of trying, he's never once got a tune out of a so called, musical chair.
DMD spent 3 hours assembling a new flat-pack bunk bed, before realising he wouldn't be able to get it up the stairs to the bedroom. 
Obi was confused by the reaction when he tried to return the flat pack as having most of the bits missing. It was just a wardrobe, the rest of the rooms of the flat seemed to be missing.
B&Q have applied for a restraining order due to the time Obi spends loitering at the checkout with assorted wood fixings.
Imagine the embarassment when DMD was informed in no uncertain terms that Screwfix weren't a dating agency.
Woopert and Mrs Woopert, both share a pleasure in spending time watching a romantic movie with a bottle of wine and a box of tissues. Fortunately, they each need the tissues at different times in the film.
Thank goodness DMD's corner shop is open until late, so there is always a steady supply of tissues available, whenever another "romantic movie" is about to be viewed on the telly. He even provides a home delivery service at no extra cost.
What a hero
What a hero
Since he read this thread, APACO has gone off sex completely, and is now applying to become a monk, or be elected as a UKIP member of parliament, whichever comes first.
- Status