1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Post a lie about the poster above.

Discussion in 'Peterborough' started by DMD, Oct 14, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 43 of 53
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,980
    Likes Received:
    293,577
    Obi thought that Johnny Cash was the change from a Durex machine
     
    #841
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 23, 2015
    Obi Wan likes this.
  2. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    40,550
    Likes Received:
    27,064
    Woopert thought that ribbed condoms were ones you stepped into and pulled up to your chest.
     
    #842
    Obi Wan, Jan 23, 2015
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,980
    Likes Received:
    293,577
    Obi thought that rubber johnny was a cartoon character in SpongeBob SquarePants.
     
    #843
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 23, 2015
    Obi Wan likes this.
  4. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    40,550
    Likes Received:
    27,064
    Woopert thought that it was called '69' because that's how many seconds you can go before you have to come up for air.
     
    #844
    Obi Wan, Jan 23, 2015
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  5. DMD

    DMD Eh?
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    68,448
    Likes Received:
    60,245
    Obi wrote to Mary Whitehouse hoping to get Phil Collins banned for the obviously sexually explicit lyrics "coming in the air tonight".
     
    #845
    DMD, Jan 24, 2015
    Wooperts_duck and Obi Wan like this.
  6. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    40,550
    Likes Received:
    27,064
    I only did that after DMD's successful campaign to ban the song 'Come on Eileen'.
     
    #846
    Obi Wan, Jan 24, 2015
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  7. DMD

    DMD Eh?
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    68,448
    Likes Received:
    60,245
    Obi's childhood was difficult as he regularly misunderstood when his friends asked him to come at tea time.
     
    #847
    DMD, Jan 24, 2015
    Wooperts_duck and Obi Wan like this.
  8. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    40,550
    Likes Received:
    27,064
    Poor DMD suffered terrible burns to the roof of his mouth at his birthday party when he was told to blow the candles.
     
    #848
    Obi Wan, Jan 25, 2015
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  9. DMD

    DMD Eh?
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    68,448
    Likes Received:
    60,245
    Obi feels so inadequate, as despite many years of trying, he's never once got a tune out of a so called, musical chair.
     
    #849
    DMD, Jan 25, 2015
    Wooperts_duck and Minxy like this.
  10. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    40,550
    Likes Received:
    27,064
    DMD spent 3 hours assembling a new flat-pack bunk bed, before realising he wouldn't be able to get it up the stairs to the bedroom. <doh>
     
    #850
    Obi Wan, Jan 25, 2015
    Wooperts_duck and Minxy like this.

  11. DMD

    DMD Eh?
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    68,448
    Likes Received:
    60,245
    Obi was confused by the reaction when he tried to return the flat pack as having most of the bits missing. It was just a wardrobe, the rest of the rooms of the flat seemed to be missing.
     
    #851
    DMD, Jan 25, 2015
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  12. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    40,550
    Likes Received:
    27,064
    DMD was surprised by the personal service he received from the old lady on the till at B&Q when he told her he needed a screw.
     
    #852
    Obi Wan, Jan 25, 2015
    Minxy likes this.
  13. DMD

    DMD Eh?
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    68,448
    Likes Received:
    60,245
    B&Q have applied for a restraining order due to the time Obi spends loitering at the checkout with assorted wood fixings.
     
    #853
    DMD, Jan 25, 2015
    Wooperts_duck and Minxy like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,980
    Likes Received:
    293,577
    Imagine the embarassment when DMD was informed in no uncertain terms that Screwfix weren't a dating agency.
     
    #854
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 26, 2015
  15. DMD

    DMD Eh?
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    68,448
    Likes Received:
    60,245
    Woopert and Mrs Woopert, both share a pleasure in spending time watching a romantic movie with a bottle of wine and a box of tissues. Fortunately, they each need the tissues at different times in the film.
     
    #855
    DMD, Jan 26, 2015
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,980
    Likes Received:
    293,577
    Thank goodness DMD's corner shop is open until late, so there is always a steady supply of tissues available, whenever another "romantic movie" is about to be viewed on the telly. He even provides a home delivery service at no extra cost.
    What a hero <ok>
     
    #856
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 26, 2015
  17. Rafa's Championship Party

    Rafa's Championship Party Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    15,256
    Likes Received:
    1,343
    What Wooperts duck is trying to tell us is that he ****s over DMD.
     
    #857
    Rafa's Championship Party, Jan 26, 2015
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,980
    Likes Received:
    293,577
    Since he read this thread, APACO has gone off sex completely, and is now applying to become a monk, or be elected as a UKIP member of parliament, whichever comes first.
     
    #858
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 26, 2015
  19. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    40,550
    Likes Received:
    27,064
    Woopert showed his passion for wine when has had a semi-on Chardonnay.
     
    #859
    Obi Wan, Jan 26, 2015
  20. DMD

    DMD Eh?
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    68,448
    Likes Received:
    60,245
    Obi didn't totally convince the Dr that the wine bottle was there neck first as a country cure for constipation rather than for any other reason.
     
    #860
    DMD, Jan 27, 2015
Page 43 of 53
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page