I was eating a bag of crisps last night, and on the back of the packet it said: ''Not to be sold separately'' I thought: ''Who the f*ck buys just one crisp.
I'd just like to inform any husbands reading this that if your wife asks how much do you love her on a scale of 1-10, the answer is 10, and not the 7 as I originally assumed.
A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar. One of them lets out a loud fart. The Bartender asks, “who farted? The rabbit answers: “I don’t know. I am only here because of the autocorrect.
The bloke at the job centre asked if I fancied being a brain surgeon ... ... I said I'd be willing to have a stab at it then he gave me some boots and sent me to a building site