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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

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  1. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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    IMG-20221001-WA0002(1).jpg
     

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    #6421
    OLOF, Oct 1, 2022
    Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  2. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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    123707E5-7B92-4DAA-B4C7-2E09BB0768AF.jpeg
     
    #6422
    2020VisionofLeeds, Oct 2, 2022
    2 pennth, stonkin, Gessa and 2 others like this.
  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Guy goes up to an icecream van which is advertising any flavour you like.
    Deciding to be a smart arse he says "do you really sell every flavour?"
    The guy in the van says "sure do"
    Smartarse says "then i'll have pussy flavour" to which the icecream man replies "one scoop or two?
    He can't believe it and says "two of course"
    Icecram man promptly hands over a double scoop cone.
    Guy smells it and thinks it smells like pussy
    Takes a lick screws up his face and says "this tastes like ****"
    Icecream man replies "you took too long a lick"
     
    #6423
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 2, 2022
    Diego likes this.
  4. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    people in iran are scared of spiders but in iraq there's no phobia
     
    #6424
    oldschool, Oct 3, 2022
    stonkin, Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  5. blonogasoven

    blonogasoven Well-Known Member

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    IMG-20221003-WA0006.jpg
     
    #6425
    blonogasoven, Oct 3, 2022
    Brizzlewhite, OLOF and Aski like this.
  6. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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    #6426
    OLOF, Oct 3, 2022
    Brizzlewhite, Makemstine Roger, blonogasoven and 2 others like this.
  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    My 4-year-old grandson has been learning
    Spanish all year and he still can't say
    the word please.

    Which I think is poor for four.
     
    #6427
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 4, 2022
    Brizzlewhite, 2 pennth, Aski and 2 others like this.
  8. Jammy 07

    Jammy 07 Well-Known Member

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    Or Shaks version....

    Pour for 4 and then drink them all yourself <cheers>
     
    #6428
    Jammy 07, Oct 4, 2022
    wakeybreakyheart and brisbane-lion like this.
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    or this version

    please log in to view this image
     
    #6429
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 4, 2022
    Diego likes this.
  10. Jammy 07

    Jammy 07 Well-Known Member

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    Typical racial stereotyping.

    It's not big and it's not clever...

    I'm talking about the potato there not the Irish obviously <ok>
     
    #6430
    Jammy 07, Oct 4, 2022
    Makemstine Roger likes this.

  11. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    my young niece is currently spending some time with a production company helping a team of choreographers put together dance routines, it's not a paid position just twerk experience
     
    #6431
    oldschool, Oct 5, 2022
    Diego, Brizzlewhite and Makemstine Roger like this.
  12. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    Have you ever thought of moving to Manchester?
     
    #6432
    brisbane-lion, Oct 5, 2022
  13. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    Rather live in Brisbane, then again ;)
     
    #6433
    oldschool, Oct 5, 2022
    brisbane-lion, OLOF and Makemstine Roger like this.
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding.
    "Och, it's all goin' pure brilliant," says Jimmy. "Ar've got everythin' organised awready, the fluers, the church, the caurs, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night."
    Archie nods approvingly.
    "I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jimmy.
    "A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's magic, you'll look pure smart in that.
    What's the tartin?...."
    "Och," says Jimmy, "A'd imagine she'll be in white.”
     
    #6434
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 8, 2022
    Gessa likes this.
  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #6435
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 8, 2022
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  16. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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    #6436
    Aski, Oct 8, 2022
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  17. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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    #6437
    Aski, Oct 8, 2022
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  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6438
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 8, 2022
  19. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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    In a major breakthrough in the field of particle physics, researchers have - for the first time - been able to weigh rainbows.


    Turns out they're pretty light.
     
    #6439
    Aski, Oct 8, 2022
    Diego, Brizzlewhite and Makemstine Roger like this.
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6440
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 8, 2022
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