at a recent athletics event several wheelchair competitors where disqualified after testing positive for wd40
An 80-year-old man was having his annual checkup when the doctor asked how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an 18-year-old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day he went out in a bit of a hurry and accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear, and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried. Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No, what?" The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him." "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot the bear." "That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor.
a judge today released a woman on bail who is accused of battering her husband to death with his guitar collection.... the judge asked her "first offender?"..."no your honour" she replied, ," i used the gibson first,then a fender"
Isn't it funny the things we will do for money. I'm ashamed to say that I used to get up early and go to work.
my missus has been talking of getting a makeover, so while flicking through some hair style mags she said..."which cut do you think would make me more attractive"......" a power cut,i replied"
My wife sent me a text If your sleeping send me your dreams If your laughing send me your smiles if your eating send me a bite If your drinking send me a sip If your crying send me your tears I love you I replied I'm on the toilet please advise
