Derek Adams is going to the Plymouth Argyle Football Club Christmas party dressed as a pumpkin, he"s hoping someone can turn him into a fcuking coach!
A teacher is telling her class of six-year-olds the story of the three little pigs. She gets to the part where the the first pig asks a man for some straw for his house. She decides to ask the class what the man would have said. One lad puts his hand up and says, "I think the man would have said; "Well fcuk me, a talking pig!"
So the bride and groom get to the bridal suite, and she strips naked in front of him. "Darling," she says, "Will you love me always?" He says, "Sounds good to me! I"ll try your arse first!"
