Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
I see that the Spice Girls are playing The Stadium of Light next year. You'd have to fancy them to come away with all three points.
A Chinese man goes for a job on a building site. "Can you lay bricks? " asks the foreman " No" " Can you plaster?""No""Can you paint?" "No" The foreman is a bit exasperated by this but says " OK you can work on supplies" Three months later the foreman is walking round the site. "Has anyone seen that Chinaman we took on a few months ago?" he asks. Just then the Chinaman jumps out from behind some boxes and shout " Suplise!"
A brand new car is being launched in Portugal, which includes space in the boot for a child. It's called the Renault McCann....
Fool the neighbours into thinking you're giving your wife an orgasm by flushing the downstairs toilet while she's in the shower.
Why are chavs like a vaginoplasty? They can spend a fortune on their appearance, but they"ll still end up just looking like a twat.
