Fairy Tale: One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who, surprisingly, did not whine, nag and bitch........ But this was a long time ago..... ...... and it was just ONE FCUKING day.
A white lie: "No dear, your bum doesn"t look big in those jeans". A black lie: "I didn"t steal no mother fcukin" car". Or a black and white lie: Newcastle are fcuking amazing!
Woman shopping in Asda notices a cute young assistant,he has such a nice arse it makes her randy. She asks him to carry her shopping to her car,on the way she cannot hold back any more and says to him "I"ve got an itchy pussy". He says "You"ll have to point it out love,all these fcuking Japanese cars look the same to me!!"
Zookeeper says to Paddy "The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with it. Would you consider shagging it for £500?" Paddy replies "I will on 3 conditions: 1. I'm not gonna kiss it. 2. My family must never know. 3. I'll need a couple of weeks to get the cash together!"
