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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I"m not a virgin."The husband replies, "That"s no big thing in this day and age."
    • The wife continues, "Yeah, I"ve been with one guy."
    • "Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
    • "Tiger Woods."
    • "Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
    • "Yeah.""Well, he"s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."
    • The husband and wife then make passionate love.When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
    • "What are you doing?" asks the wife.
    • The husband says, "I"m hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."
    • "Tiger wouldn"t do that."
    • "Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
    • "He"d come back to bed and do it a second time."T
    • he husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.
    • "Now what are you doing?" she asks.
    • The husband says, "I"m still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."
    • "Tiger wouldn"t do that.""Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
    • "He"d come back to bed and do it again."The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time
    • .When they finish he"s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
    • The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
    • "No! I"m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."
     
    #6881
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6886
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6887
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6888
  9. Wooperts_duck

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    #6889
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6890
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6891
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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • What"s the difference between a chav girl and the Grand Old Duke of York?
    • The Grand Old Duke of York only had ten thousand men.
     
    #6892
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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • What are the first symptoms of AIDS?
    • A sharp pounding sensation up the backside.
     
    #6893
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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  16. antipodean exile

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