Off Topic Jokes thread

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• A man goes into a gun shop and buys a rifle to go bear hunting. Five minutes into the woods, he spots a huge grizzly, takes aim and fires. and when the smoke clears, bear is gone.
• As he"s puzzling over this, he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and there, towering over him, is the bear.
• "Well, you took your best shot and missed, so now I"m going to eat you!"
• The man begs and pleads not to be killed, and the bear thinks about it and says, "I suppose I COULD let you live, if you give me a blow job."
• So the man does the horrible deed and goes back to the gun shop the following day, walking out with an AK-47.
• He goes back to the woods, sees the same bear, takes aim and empties the whole clip. The smoke clears, and the bear is gone again.
• Then there"s a tap on the shoulder,"Okay, twice is too much. You missed again, so I"m REALLY going to eat you now."
• Once again, the man begs and pleads and, after some thought, the bear relinquishes - except that this time the man has to let the bear take him roughly up the a*se.
• Back to the shop and this time he walks out with the biggest thing they"ve got - an ex-Soviet Army rocket launcher.
• He returns to the forest, spots the bear, fires up the scope and fires. There"s a huge explosion and, when the smoke clears, no bear - just a smoking crater. Grinning with satisfaction, he starts to lower the weapon, and then there"s a tap on the shoulder.
• With one hand on his hip, the bear cocks his head and says,
• "You"re not really here for the hunting, are you?"

 

• What did Little Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussain have in common?
• Both had Kurds in their way.

 

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