Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
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My Grandad was killed by a steam train, apparently he was chuffed to bits.
IN RESPONSE TO ALL RECENT E-MAILS ABOUT OUR DOG:
PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT HIM.
YES, HE BIT TWO PEOPLE WEARING BURKAS,
TEN PEOPLE WEARING TURBANS,
TWENTY PEOPLE WEARING JEREMY CORBYN T-SHIRTS,
TWO CAR DRIVERS WITH RAP MUSIC BLARING FROM THEIR VEHICLES,
FOUR JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES,
TWO MORMONS,
NINE TEENAGERS WITH PANTS HANGING PAST THEIR ASS CRACKS,
THREE MUSLIMS AND A PAKISTANI TAXI DRIVER.
BUT, FOR THE LAST TIME. . .
THIS DOG IS NOT FOR SALE !!
PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT HIM.
YES, HE BIT TWO PEOPLE WEARING BURKAS,
TEN PEOPLE WEARING TURBANS,
TWENTY PEOPLE WEARING JEREMY CORBYN T-SHIRTS,
TWO CAR DRIVERS WITH RAP MUSIC BLARING FROM THEIR VEHICLES,
FOUR JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES,
TWO MORMONS,
NINE TEENAGERS WITH PANTS HANGING PAST THEIR ASS CRACKS,
THREE MUSLIMS AND A PAKISTANI TAXI DRIVER.
BUT, FOR THE LAST TIME. . .
THIS DOG IS NOT FOR SALE !!
- Little Johnny walked into his dad"s bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his penis in preparation for sex with his wife.
- Johnny"s father, in an attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it, bent over as if to look under the bed.
- Little Johnny asked curiously "What ya doin dad?"
- His father quickly replied,"I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed."
- To which Little Johnny replied
- "What ya gonna do, f*ck him?"
Boris Johnson’s generalisations about the burqa are inaccurate. These women are not “letterboxes” or “bank robbers” & if he were to bother to sit down with a Muslim he’d see that under that garment there is a human being inside who despises the west & wants homosexuals dead.
To prevent the spread of Bird Flu the Irish government today announced an immediate ban on all Hen Parties!!..
- Why are women like clouds?
- Because when they f*ck off it"s usually a nice day.