Hilarious Jokes

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FosseFilberto said:
2 guys drinking in a bar, one goes too far and pukes all over himself. '**** wifes gonna kill me' mate says 'its ok, just say somone puked over you and gave you £10 note for dry cleaning'..later at his front door wife says 'what the hell happened?!' Husband says 'its ok...someone puked over me and gave me £10 for cleaning' then taps his shirt front pocket..she takes note...'but this is £20?'...'the same guy also **** in my pants'
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If you are going to steal Clement Freud's joke, at least tell it properly!
 
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monacoger said:
What happened to your team last night? I saw you were 3-0 up and then when I looked again, you had been beaten 4-3. Crazy stuff, do the owners just not spend money on the club anymore?
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Long story - owner is still committed but PSR / FFP right royally ****ed us - started with Brendan Rodgers not being able to spend a penny pre-season - wanted to turn Ademola Lookmans loan into permanent but couldn't even do that ...

Got relegated that season when re really shouldn't have and the PL / EFL were pissed off because we shifted our accounting date so that neither were able to punish us - really pissed both off and they've been after us ever since, culminating in the 6 points we've just been deducted ... got some really talented youngsters buy have had to resort to loan deals / out of contracts for the time being to stay within PSR / FFP bollocks ...

It's a complete farce - Forest have spent £200 million on transfers this season with a capacity less than ours ... just one of the clubs with the PSR sword of Damacles hovering ... meanwhile Chelsea can sell their Hotel, Ladies Team, Training ground and naming rights to......... themselves ... and that works to keep them within PSR ... it's a ****ing farce...

Rant over <laugh>
 
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