The village fete had a grow your own vegetable competition, I entered a marrow. I've been barred from all future events and charges are pending.
Suzy gave birth to Triplets. Named them Matt, Pat & Tat. She fed Mat from her Right breast & Pat from her Left breast. . . Moral: Sometimes there's no TIT FOR TAT...
I went to the Bakers and pointed to a cake in the display cabinet and asked how much it was, the lady said £1. I pointed to another cake and asked how much it was and she said £1. I pointed to a third cake and asked how much it was and she said £5. I asked her why the others were a pound but this one was a fiver and she said it was Madeira cake.
On Tuesday night Will Sutton scored against Sutton. I wonder if that's ever happened before? Did James Chester ever score against Chester? Did Dwight Yorke score against York? Did Stefan Kuntz ever score against Celtic?