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The "But I'm Not..." Thread

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by TheJudeanPeoplesFront, May 18, 2013.

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  1. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    The rules are simple... You write a statement about what you would do, followed by "but I'm not <whoever>" for humorous or truth-bomb effect...

    For example;

    I would get a bite to eat at a football match, but I'm not Luis Suarez...

    I would attempt to console myself with a boob-related avatar picture on here, but I'm not Warm Pouch... and my girlfriend is on NOT606 <laugh>





    Your turn lads and lasses <ok>
     
    #1
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, May 18, 2013
  2. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace Forum Moderator

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    Just to check I've understood right before fully participating, do you mean like this?

    "I crave your attention and have sexual fantasies about you, whoever you are, whether you are man, woman, or otherwise. But I'm not Gandalf."

    ;)
     
    #2
    Obi Wan, May 18, 2013
  3. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    <laugh><laugh><laugh>

    I would think it's time for another name change now they're onto me again, but I'm not TheJPF, or CantPassDebuchyOnTheLeft... <whistle>
     
    #3
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, May 18, 2013
  4. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    I'd attempt to say something funny, but I'm not Gandalf.
     
    #4
    Agent Bruce, May 18, 2013
  5. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    I would tell you that I stopped my missus sucking her thumb by drawing a cock on it but I'm not going to.
     
    #5
    jimileysbaldhead, May 18, 2013
  6. Darth Plagueis

    Darth Plagueis Well-Known Member

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    I would phone home every day, but I'm not Obertan.
     
    #6
    Darth Plagueis, May 18, 2013

  7. Salomon #9

    Salomon #9 Member

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    sorry o.b wanted to press like button
     
    #7
    Salomon #9, May 18, 2013
  8. Stuart Blanc

    Stuart Blanc Member

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    I'm not racist but why do all white people look the same?
     
    #8
    Stuart Blanc, May 18, 2013
  9. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    They don't, I'm much more handsome than Obi.
     
    #9
    Agent Bruce, May 18, 2013
  10. Minxy

    Minxy Just Me

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    I thought of selling my granny for rep but I'm not ACS
     
    #10
    Minxy, May 18, 2013
  11. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace Forum Moderator

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    <laugh><laugh> are you sure you're not ACS?
     
    #11
    Obi Wan, May 18, 2013
  12. Prince Isak (GG)

    Prince Isak (GG) Well-Known Member

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    I would like to say I am tactically inept..................

    BUT I'M NOT ALAN PARDEW.
     
    #12
    Prince Isak (GG), May 18, 2013
  13. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace Forum Moderator

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    What makes you so sure I'm white?
     
    #13
    Obi Wan, May 18, 2013
  14. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    You're alwight sometimes, but not all of the time.
     
    #14
    Agent Bruce, May 18, 2013
  15. Consett Mag

    Consett Mag Well-Known Member

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    I would like to own a Championship club, with all my best players shipped out and my manager walked, but I'm not Dave Whelan. :)
     
    #15
    Consett Mag, May 18, 2013
  16. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace Forum Moderator

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    Ouch! Get in there! <ok>
     
    #16
    Obi Wan, May 18, 2013
  17. Consett Mag

    Consett Mag Well-Known Member

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    Let's make hay while the sun shines ...

    I would like to sit on my backside this summer while the England U21 team play in European Championships, just nursing my busted ankle ligaments, but I'm not Callum McManaman.
     
    #17
    Consett Mag, May 18, 2013
  18. It's_all_Greek_to_me

    It's_all_Greek_to_me Well-Known Member

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    I'd like to say that the messiah has arrived, he'll completely transform our club and we'll be playing Champions League football, beating the likes of Barcelona in two seasons but i'm not a Sunderland fan.
     
    #18
    It's_all_Greek_to_me, May 18, 2013
  19. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    I would lead Newcastle to back to back Champions League and Premier League titles, but I'm not actually Gandalf <wah><wah><wah>
     
    #19
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, May 18, 2013
  20. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace Forum Moderator

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    An imposter! Stone him!
     
    #20
    Obi Wan, May 18, 2013
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