He's **** on 10 O'Clock Live, but his stand up can be funny at times. Problem is you have to suffer a lot of **** to find the occasional good joke from him.
Yeh with Jimmy Carr you have to wade through piles of **** before you find the tiniest shred of gold. His standup is talentless too really, just a man stood there reeling off endless unrelated jokes. As for female comedians, very few are even remotely funny. Pretty much all of them base their entire comedic persona on one generic trait; at worst its the 'I'm a woman and aren't men feeble minded and cute' routine but in other cases it's some obvious trait such as Blonde, Fat, Gay, Ethnic minority or what part of the country they're from.
The following will be first against the wall when the Revolution comes: Thatcher, Heseltine and all Tories. The BNP. The Traitor known as Clegg. Harry Redknapp. Spurs. Villa. The Liverpool Way. Souness. Allardyce. Llambias. Glory Hunters. Divers. Knobs who listen to and believe the utter drivel and lies printed as fact by **** ****s with a hidden agenda in the name of sports journalism. Sports journalists. Nani. Dennis Wise. **** player, **** taxi passenger, even ****ter manager, even ****ter abysmal Director of Football (non-executive). Like King Midas in reverse, everything he touches turns to ****. And STILL the morons in the southern press laaaaavvvv 'im. Gor ****ing blimey Guv. X Factor, Britians Got Talent (elsewhere, obviously), im a celebrity, big brother and all other ****e 'reality/fame' ****. Anyone and anything associated with this appalling grotesque **** celebrity culture, hang your heads. Anyone and everyone who watches, votes for, and talks about it, who activily encourages the dumbing down of british tv&entertainment into Moron Tv, you are ****ing cretins. Everyone included in this paragraph is hereby invited to go on my new show, 'You're a Celebrity wannabe, Get In the Blender'. Dermot O'leary. David O'leary, for that matter. Davina Mccall. The vile creature known as 'Katie Price', and everything associated with it. Jim Davidson. 58million sperm and you won. Christ. Dysentery is funnier than you. Michael Mcintyre. Talentless unfunny gormless ****. Perfect for Moron TV! Get in the blender, moron. Skins. People who watch Skins. People who like Skins. People who like Skins and said 'its better than The Sopranos' The ex, for preferring Skins to The Sopranos. Seriously. Any advert comprising the meerkats, go compare, we buy any car or anything along those lines. The person responsible for writing the we buy any car jingle. Jim White. Tim Lovejoy. Knowing that i'll never see LCD Soundsystem play live ever again. Knowing that next time i turn on the tv, there'll be some gormless talentless miming fake plastic bunch of gimps being proclaimed britains best band for miming along to a pre recorded corporate soft pop bland dirge. Twilight. What a load of ****. Channel 5, purely for bringing back Big Brother. Kind of sums c5 up. Actually, c5 can move off the list. They can stay as c5. I can think of no worse punishment. This isnt half therapuetic. I shall return with more. Probably sometimetomorrow night, when some men in red shirts, a man who looks like a rasher of bacon, and 3 men in black have probably made me apoplectic with rage.
This! I know someone that does that, but I ask him the teams in the Champions League semi finals, he has no idea
Monday night Tele do we really ****ing need 2 hours of soaps come on Emmerdale, corrie, Eastenders, Corrie come on bastards
Ooo this thread reminds me of a post I had... I'm so bored of Barcelona it's unreal. The **** refs who can't see a dive from 2 yards, I mean wtf?! I mean come on it's meant to be one of the 'top matches' in Europe! How can they not find one decent ref?! I think we could actually all do a better job than them! Just seen that Villa had a shot at goal after beign called offside, should be a yellow card then shouldn't it you inconsistent twats! The commentators are just as ****ing annoying. Yes Barcelona play good football but that doesn't mean they can't do any wrong ffs! 'Yeah he went down a little easy'... THE GUY NEVER TOUCHED HIM YOU TWATS. Even the ****ing pundits are in love with them, Souness you absolute **** what the **** is wrong with you! You make my blood boil so much I wanted to throw my ****ing tv remote through my tv, just go away, I don't want to see you for the rest of my life. The fans piss me off as well, yes the opposing team has the ball, but that doesn't mean you have to ****ing whistle ok! It's like the bloody World Cup all over again! And yeah, ever heard of singing, maybe you should try it sometime, you know with the 98,000 people in the stadium you might be able to make a ****ing atmosphere! I see more atmosphere at my local village club you lifeless people! And finally, the bloody players. I mean what the ****. You're getting payed millions of pounds a year, supposed to be the best players in the world and represent our sport, and you spend half the time sitting on your arse's! Grow a ****ing pair and play actual football, I mean the only player I can stand on the pitch at the moment is Diarra, at least he's not going down like a ****ing pussy! I mean, how the **** do you train? Do you just not go near each other in training? I'd love to see you play against a lower league team in England just to see you get ****ed over by a few decent challenges, with a proper referee that knows what a tackle is and knows that if you touch the guy it's not always a foul! I mean seriously it must be embarrassing when you see a tape of you crying, Nani would fit in perfectly with you bunch of ****s. At least it's half time and that ****ty game is off for a bit. Oh wait here comes the **** punditry! At least Gudjohnsen said it for what it is, 'blatant cheating'. Good man. After these matches I have lost all respect for anything to do with Spanish football.
Lee dixon, Garth crooks, Gary Pallister, and that dumb lanky blonde prick who they must have got on loan from ****ing newsround, you have succeded to turn football focus/ final score into the biggest bag of re-used penal outpouring i've ever had the mispleasure of watching. Crooks your a smug **** who i would take great pleasure in knocking out, pallister you ****ing lanky overvalued opinionless piece of smoggy/manu **** you can **** right off, Lee dixon I really really really hate you. You sit there with your stupid arrogant smug bastard ****ing face like you know it all, talking about skill and flair like you were better than ****ing maradona!!! Prick, if i played in a defence with adams and keown i'd look ****ing balletic!!!!! you seem to copy your every move from lawrenson (don't even get me started) and every time I see your face it makes me want to suffocate myself with a plastic bag full of 8 day old catshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It never rains, but it pours. Computers are on the list. Managed to get a bloody rootkit that wont remove from my PC - it's disabled nigh on everything & impossible to pick up on using Anti-malware & anti-virus programs bootable from a USB Key and on top of that my Macbook Pro's gpu has went...again! Deadlines are tomorrow and there's a program on my PC I can't access that's ã2-4.5k to replace so was hoping I didn't have to reformat. My project evaluation now consists of me saying how my project has been ****ed up because of this and a company not delivering a part in a month, when the lead time was meant to be ten days. **** knows what degree classification I'm going to come out with! I've had to meet my mam last night at Scotch Corner to borrow their laptop for these essays and then worked an extension for the programming with my lecturer until my VIVA in two weeks.
Fortunately the lecturer understands the situation as my uncle gave me the program on a visit to the UK a month ago and he lives & works abroad, uni only has the next version down and the older version as well and my program uses some of the premium 2010 coding features, so it doesn't work. I may have managed to get myself a copy of the software from someone, but if not I'm going to have to make a program from scratch which is pretty ****!
