Was sitting with the girlfriend yesterday when the owner of Apple walked through the door and stole our Mr Sheen!! ****ing Jobs, coming over here and stealing our polish
You utter **** of a man you stole the woman I love from under my nose! We lived together, we were so close and when she finally ditched her abusive boyfriend I was over the moon! I was there for her and knew she was hurting so I gave her time, you lept in there though and using your piggish charm got under the skin of a vunerable woman! You treat her so badly but she is blinded by love because she is a soppy so and so, just like me! You're slowly poisoning her, making her lose respect for herself and treating her like a dog, doing just enough to keep her in a state of happy delusion! If it weren't for the fact you are one of my best friends' brother I'd have long since knocked your teeth out! I hate you for destroying my dreams and robbing me of a chance of something beautiful with the girl I had such a tight bond with. ****. Oh is it supposed to be about football? Erm. Steve Bruce.... boooo.
Damn you ex gf i bought that flaming ladder so I could kiss you. I had my legs broken twice to help gain a inch or 2. Then one day I find your msn open talking to this other lad who looks a complete plank. WHHHYYY
**** you Vicente del Bosque, everything letter for your name I spit at you! I am playing best for club and still no call up? You are a sick piggie who does not knowing talent when smacking you in the stupid face! Nacho Monreal? Better than me? Shut your fat stupidness! It is for me playing at Newcastle I am not looked at? Little boy sat in corner working so hard and ignored by big blind man! You are making me move clubs for play Spain is that is it?! I love Newcastle but you are rubbing hands saying "oh I am picking you if play for big club Liverpool" **** you Vincente, flying **** you! >=( I am loving people at Newcastle but you are making me choosing between the fans I love and country. You are scumbag man and I will not fire piss on you if you are dying! What do you want me doing? Let down fans I love? For you? Fat ****ty face you are not long for Spain job, soon a real man will be in charge and will pick Jose Enrique Sanchez Diaz, proud playing of glorious Newcastle United. Rot in hell and I **** your daughter til she cry. Cheesey dick man does not please his wife with little willy and no brain and you are wearing lace pants underneath! You are a joke and I hate more than anything you! Everybody is knowing I am star for Spain but you are throwing blanket over me and saying I not there. You not sweep me under mat much longer, I will show you who I really am!!!
Ha thats you told Phil Thompson now go and get a fecking nose job youll probably be able to smell flaming Middleboro from where you are in your **** sprreading home of ****
Thought I'd paste my thoughts on Lily savage from that MOTD thread... How the **** would Savage know what it takes to be a top English midfielder? For a start, he's **** and secondly, he's Welsh. His first point about Barton missing that header, "Lampard would've buried that". Would he, smart arse? Are you 100% positive? Lampard has never missed a shot, ever? You clusterfuck. Then, at admittedly a pretty naff over-hit Barton cross, "Didn't have the vision of Gerrard there". Well Gerrard is injured, vision or no vision his ****ing leg would have fell off if he kicked it wouldn't it? Cos he's INJURED you tit, like Barton said. I hope he gets aids. From a manky sheep. Then dies.
Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC, I am writing with regard to my absolute astonishment and disbelief as to the sheer magnitude of your complete lack of talent and failure to carry out the job for which you are paid to do. I am not aware of any swear word or other derogatory phrase in my current vocabulary which comes close to a description of your ‘performance’ (and I use that term loosely) this afternoon, but let me just say that you have collectively reached a level of inadequacy and ineptitude that neither I nor modern science had previously considered possible. In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my one bedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and ------- furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here. I would genuinely like to know how you pathetic little pishflaps sleep at night, knowing full well that you have taken my money and that of several thousand others and delivered precisely ---- all in return. I run a business myself, and I believe I could take any 4,000 of my customers at random; burn down their houses, impregnate their wives and then dismember their children before systematically sending them back in the post, limb-by-limb, and still ensure a level of customer satisfaction which exceeds that which I have experienced at Blundell Park at any time so far this season. You are a total disgrace, not only to your profession, not only to the human race, but to nature itself. This may sound like an exaggeration, but believe me when I say that I have passed kidney stones which have brought me a greater level of pleasure and entertainment than watching each of you worthless excuses for professional footballers attempt to play a game you are clearly incapable of playing, week-in, week-out I considered, for a second, that I was perhaps being a little too harsh. But then I recalled that I have blindly given you all the benefit of the doubt for too long now. Yes, for too long you have failed to earn the air you’ve been breathing by offering any kind of tangible quality either as footballers or as people in general. As such, I feel it’s only fair that your supply runs out forthwith. I trust, at this precise moment in time, that Mr Fenty is in his office tapping away on the easyJet web site booking you all one-way flights to Zurich, complete with an overnight stay with our cheese eating friends at Dignitas. Don’t bother packing your toothbrush – you won’t need it. In the event that our beloved chairman can’t afford the expense (understandable given that he’s soon going to have to assemble a new squad from scratch), then I am prepared to sell my family (including my unborn child) to a dubious consortium of Middle Eastern businessmen in order to pay for the flights. Christ, I’ll drive you there myself, one-by one, without sleep, if I have to. Failing that, understanding that most dubious Middle Eastern businessmen are tied-up purchasing Premier League football clubs, I ask you to please take matters into your hands. Use your imagination, guys – strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something. Just put yourselves and us fans out of our collective misery. So, in summary, you pack of repugnant, sputum-filled, invertebrate --------; leave this club now and don’t you ------- dare look back. You’ve consistently demonstrated less passion and desire than can commonly be found within the contents of a sloth’s scrotum, so frankly you can just all ---- off – don’t pass go, don’t collect your wages, don’t ever come back to this town again. I look forward to you serving me at my local McDonald’s drive-through in the near future. Yours sincerely A very disillusioned Mariner
I hate the fact Britains got NO talent starts again on Sunday. Also, why the **** is 'the hoff' a judge.
