Dear Jeremy Wade
your fish was ****
I'm coming for you
John Wilson's where it's at man! Get on!Hah! It says "Into the Light" on the gates of the SoL and you play in black and white. And our fair city (indulge me) is in County Durham, the Land of the Prince Bishops, whatever that means (sounds good though).
Against the Royalists, AB, not the English per se. Anyway, it was just a punch-up in the ASDA car park in Boldon, really. Probably all went for a pint together afterwards...







To the absolute ****er who plainly refused to sell me Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows today because I didn't have any ID, it's a ****ing 12 and I'm 17 you twat! You're not risking your job by selling the the bloody DVD, it's quite obvious I'm old enough to buy it. You made me take a 10 minute round walk at 9:30 in the morning just to get my bloody ID card. Jokes on you though, you charged me ã5, it was meant to be ã7. Hope that loses you your job you dick.
(This really pissed me off as I got up early to buy it!)
Hah! It says "Into the Light" on the gates of the SoL and you play in black and white. And our fair city (indulge me) is in County Durham, the Land of the Prince Bishops, whatever that means (sounds good though).
.
!Against the Royalists, AB, not the English per se. Anyway, it was just a punch-up in the ASDA car park in Boldon, really. Probably all went for a pint together afterwards...
My girlfriend: You're 19. Stop acting as if you are a bloody 8 year old. Yeh, so what if I get a little annoyed by NUFC. I think im allowed too. They give me more ****ing pleasure than you do .
Got a random laugh out of me that!Ross Kemp, Noam Chomsky, Michael Moore, Nick Clegg, Margaret Beckett, John Pilger, Fox News, Alan Hansen, HP Original BBQ Sauce, mobile phones, Facebook, Twitter, ceiling paint, two of my neighbours, my dad, Robert Mugabe, Inverness Caledonian Thistle, Pinot Grigio, Brahms, Jedward, rock hard avocados, text speak, uneven pavements, Mrs McPherson from school, PC’s, religious fundamentalists, fundamentalists in general, aniseed, liver, hard boiled sweets, the Mexican mafia, Dens Park, me, Grimsby town centre, dole cheats, tax-avoiders, lavender, Burberry, Michael Jackson apologists, Formula 1, Japanese fishermen, racing from Aintree, chunky gold rings, tracksuits, white trainers, men over forty in jeans, anyone in cycling shorts, Sauchiehall Street, most modern appliances and Prince William.
Listen - I despise you so very, very much that it leaves me quite short of breath. All of you, in different ways, make me sick to the blackened depths of my soul.
Why do you dislike Noam Chomsky and Michael Moore. They are two legends in my opinion. People who aren't afraid of speaking openly about the ugly truth.
Hello. How are you doing? Good question.
I surprised myself a little bit when I saw their names appear on my list (as well as the name of John Pilger). Maybe it would be more accurate to say that I enjoy a love/hate relationship with these people. I'll happily wrack my meagre brains and compile a list of some of the reasons I occasionally hate them, though, just not tonight - as I'm knackered. (All that ranting has clearly taken its toll. It happens.)

Oh boy, oh boy, thanks AP!...
Micheal Macintyre, why don't you take your ****ing fat faced nodding, grinning head a shove it in a wood chipper, you twee, slimy, sickly, fat, middle class, unfunny, dire ****. There aren't enough expletives in the world to describe how much I despise you, you ****ing mong. I'd love to see you tied to a chair, with a close up camera on your face, while your entire family are paraded before you, with Frankie Boyle abusing each and everyone of them in his most vitriolic manner, just to see you cry like a baby. And then Frankie could stick on a bit of Steelers Wheel and do a Micheal Madsen on you, you fat ****.
Craig Revell Horwood (or whatever your name is). Take pills, use a rope, put a hose in your car, I don't care how you do it, but do it soon.
Americans - please just **** off. We don't give a **** about 9/11. We don't need to be reminded about it every year, year in, year out. You don't need to **** up the whole world just coz you got hit. **** happens everywhere, it doesn't make it special when it happens to you. 100,000 + people died in the boxing day tsunami. Beslan was a far worse attrocity, but thats been more or less forgotten, coz it happened in a Russian backwater. And stop making out that ****ing New Yorkers are all saints - It was the people of New York, Chicago and Boston who, every year, year in year out, knowingly bankrolled to IRA via St Patricks Day parades and fundraisers, for 'the boys back home', who blew up people in Ireland and here in the UK.
God botherers of all races and creeds - for ****s sake! Look at the facts. There is no God, there is no heaven, there is not afterlife. When you see a dead badger beside the road, you don't worry about where 'it's gone to' - it's just a lump of dead meat. Same as we all are when we die. This is it, this is all there is. We're an accident of nature, like Roaches, Trees, Water, and so on and so on. Unicorns are a more believable - theres the narwhale, a bloody great whale with a spiral horn. Theres stags and deer, four legged animals with antlers, so there could be a horse with a horn. But some bloke that made everything? Do me a favour, you ****ing sheep!
People who are desperate to be celebrities - take a look in the mirror. Look at yourself. You're a ****ing twat. Get off your lazt arse, get a ****ing job, and stop sitting round expecting to be given everything in life on a plate because you think that being a 'celebrity' is the be all and end all.
And all you ****s that make the 'celbrity culture' possible, by reading and watching and playing for endless streams of ****e about the goings on in other ****wits lives, for ****s sake take a look at yourself. Are you really that vacuous that you worry about what shoes Chantelle is wearing this week, or whether some **** from Essex has had his ringpiece waxed. All these people you read about, they're all useless ****s, and you're an even bigger **** for supporting their existence.
That veggie bird on this seasons Masterchef. I'd love to see her forcibly fed raw steak, the whinging, self obsessed attention seeking twat.Time to go to work now, but I'm just warming up. Think I'll be back later!




