Improved bid for Morrison

There was a story a while back about him stealing stuff from the dressing rooms. Despite his talent i'm not sure it'd be a good idea having someone that would do that around the club.

 

Im calling flop now in the sweepstakes

 

No way will Man Utd sell him to Arsenal or City. If the kid comes good with Newcastle, Man Utd know they will have no problem getting him back.

 

Who else were you thinking of?

 

Obertan?

 

He's pretty much forcing his way out, doubt he'd go back to them.

 

Demba Ba - injury problems, cheap contract situation
Ben Arfa - history of being a problem player, went on strike to push through deal, cheap because of this
Marveaux - injury problems, exploitable contract situation
Gosling - exploitable contract situation, injured at the time
Santon - supposed degenerative knee situation, cheap price
Abeid - exploitable contract situation
Maiga - went on strike to force through move, hence cheaper price

Even Cabaye and Tioté were signed because they had fixed price release clauses. Neil Taylor too.


Pretty much every single signing we've recently made has either been through an exploitable contractual situation, a player with a history of injury problems, a player with a problem personality or a player with a fixed release clause. Often a number of them.

Not once have we properly bidded for a 'normal' player in the 'normal' way. There's not much wrong with this, especially when you're short of funds (ha) but most are calculated risks. Some of them come off spectacularly (Ba), whereas others fall flat on your face (Marveaux, although I like him and am not writing him off). This just seems another one of this mould, he's not even really in a position where we have weaknesses both in first teamers and with our promising youngsters. We're stacked in midfield, however the club clearly see this as an opportunity that is too good to let up. Ashley is a gambler and he's clearly seeing the pound signs with this lad.

 

TouchlineDrama TouchlineDrama
It's emerged that talented Manchester United starlet Ravel Morrison has been caught stealing from the 1st team's dressing room—Unbelievable.

TouchlineDrama TouchlineDrama
It's being reported all over. It appears that Ravel Morrison may have been doing it for some time and got caught with Rio Ferdinand's watch.

 

Reported on twitter and the other rags? Then it must be true!

EDIT: I'm referring to all of the stories we're sure to hear about his misbehaviour in Manchester.

 

Send him over to Chris Hughton on loan. He's good with problem players

 

Sounds like a ****. But a very talented **** none the less, worth a punt, I imagine his ego will shrink rather a lot when he misplaces a pass in front of 50,000 of us.

 

'Ravel has got plenty to prove & #nufc have got nothing to lose' - Morrison keen as Toon up bid for £1m wonder kid journallive.co.uk/nufc/newcastle…

 

TV Gold if he went for Tiote's watch in the dressing room .. ManU players are big, girly ****s in comparison, which is why he thought he'd try it on

 

RavelMorrison49 Ravel Ryan Morrison
People that make silly lil lies up have nout goin for them in theRe lives , grow up find something better to do & stop causing trouble
41 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply » RavelMorrison49 Ravel Ryan Morrison

@rioferdy5 I ever taken your watch:/ because a lot of silly immature people with no life with a lot of time on theRe hands seem to think so?
44 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply

seems that its bollox. he wouldn't openly ask rio on twitter to confirm he hadn't done it if he really had would he?

 

AP: "Pop into the changing room for a minute, will you Ravel?"

AP: "Ravel. This is Chieck Tiote. Sort him out will you, Mr T?"

CT: "Sure thing, boss"

AP exits changing room. Closes door behind him.

Sounds of breaking furniture, and screams of pain, heard from within.

 

*tiote exits room looking worried*

AP "you alright cheick?"

CT "Yeah i'm fine boss, but erm...i don't know how to say this, but...Ravels went blue. I think he's dead..."

AP "not another one chieck..."

CT "I'ms real sorry boss, i dunno my own strength"

*pardew goes in to the room and vomits at the sight of Ravels entrials smearing the walls.*

AP "how have you managed to rip him apart without leaving a spec of blood on yourself chieck? I always wonder how you manage to do that..."

CT "just practice i guess. sorry about Ravel. do i still get to play tomorrow?"

AP" I'm hardly going to stop you having witnessed this am I"

CT "if you want me to 'educate' anymore youngins let me know boss."

AP "if you see john carver out there will you send him to sort out this mess"

 

Yes the boy might have a lot of talent, but you have to ask yourself - if he's not motivated by the prospect of playing for one of the biggest teams in the world and under perhaps the greatest manager in the history of football, then what can we and Pardew expect to get out of him? He hasn't exactly worked wonders with Ranger has he?

There's a reason Man United aren't bothering with him. I think we should read between the lines and follow suit.

 

*John Carver turns up*

JC "What's up boss?"

AP "Do your job John, clean that up."

JC "Tiote kill another one?"

AP "Ayeeeeee, the fans are going to seriously kick off if we keep killing potential signings."

JC "What can we do though? Are you willing to tell him off?"

AP "Let me think, I always think better when I rest my head in Coloccini's hair"

JC "But boss, first it was Barnetta, then Modibo Maiga, and now Morrison. He's killed 3 people! Barnetta just because you wanted Tiote to show him what he does in his spare time, poor Barny never had any experience fighting bulls, you told Tiote that Maiga was even more black than him, so he went and killed him, and now Morrison."

AP "I'm starting to think this is my fault. I'm off to think in Coloccini's hair, tell Gutierrez to stop trying to climb walls will you!"

To be continued...(by someone else)

 

Man Utd must be selling off the young'uns Gibson gone to Everton

 

*Carver speaks to Jonas after disposing of the bits left of ravel, find him dressed in his pyjamas with two cans of silly string spraying the kitchen staff*

JC "for gods sake jonas, what the hell are you doing?"

JG "i'm practicing my web shooting, i think it almost good enough to swing from the roof with..."

JC "what have we told you Jonas? give me them here...you are not to jump off the roof. remember the last time? if collocini hadn't been walking below you'd have probably twisted your ankle or something...."

JG "but i'm really spiderman boss. i used to have the mask and everything..."

JC "well you don't ant the world knowing do you? spiderman has to keep his identity secret doesn't he? if you'd jumped off the roof and hurt yourself we'd have had to call an ambulance again wouldn't we? and then they see who spiderman really is? then what would happen?"

JG "we'd have to get tiote to kill the paramedics again?"

JC "exactly, and i can't afford the dry cleaning i'm getting through at the minute..."

*JC walks off and shouts "if you see Nile Ranger will you tell him if he plays with that nickel plated glock in training again i'm going to confiscate it...* to be continued.