Improved bid for Morrison

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I hope this isn't our answer to lack of depth in the CB area. It would be a great signing for the future, but we need a CB that could play now if we suffer another ****ty injury to either Colo or Willo.
 
I Sit Next To A Badger-Leazes Corner said:
*John Carver turns up*

JC "What's up boss?"

AP "Do your job John, clean that up."

JC "Tiote kill another one?"

AP "Ayeeeeee, the fans are going to seriously kick off if we keep killing potential signings."

JC "What can we do though? Are you willing to tell him off?"

AP "Let me think, I always think better when I rest my head in Coloccini's hair"

JC "But boss, first it was Barnetta, then Modibo Maiga, and now Morrison. He's killed 3 people! Barnetta just because you wanted Tiote to show him what he does in his spare time, poor Barny never had any experience fighting bulls, you told Tiote that Maiga was even more black than him, so he went and killed him, and now Morrison."

AP "I'm starting to think this is my fault. I'm off to think in Coloccini's hair, tell Gutierrez to stop trying to climb walls will you!"

To be continued...(by someone else)
Click to expand...

AP "Hey Colo babes, mind me going to my happy place?"

Colo "Again Boss? If you really insist"

Enter Jonas Gutierrez from stage right, on the phone

JG "...jajajajajajaja Xisco ethethethetheth spiderman. Muchas toro rosso Chris Waddle hucho butro greggs pasties. Butros butros ghali." (Fast Show joke, sorry if you don't get it)

Puts phone down.

JG "Heeyya Colo, eess bozz in the hair again?"

Colo "He in there for sure, he say a little about Cheick maybe?"

AP (Muttering) "cannibal...strength...Obertan...murder" (Bursts out of hair) "EUREKA I've got it! Where's Gabby? I need Gabby!"

Colo "He go running down blind alleys again. No-one sees him"

JG "Do you need spiderman? Jajaja We catch him in webs"

Davide Santon enters stage left, on the phone.

DS "Hey, Mario, you sorting out-a Nile? Que? You do wee-wee on school children? You crazy. Ciao"

AP "David-day, have you seen Gabby O?"

DS "How you say...the man Carver has him cleaning dressing rooms... he says ultimate humiliation for being tackled by Gael Givet"

AP rings JC "Good thinking my geordie brother. Could you send Cheik in to the changing rooms? Yeah. Yeah. Obertan needs some discipline. Yeah. You're cleaning up the next lot"

EDIT: I got beaten to it...

EDIT EDIT: It actually makes sense if you read mine, and then read the last one on page 2...
 
Pipe4Life said:
*Carver speaks to Jonas after disposing of the bits left of ravel, find him dressed in his pyjamas with two cans of silly string spraying the kitchen staff*

JC "for gods sake jonas, what the hell are you doing?"

JG "i'm practicing my web shooting, i think it almost good enough to swing from the roof with..."

JC "what have we told you Jonas? give me them here...you are not to jump off the roof. remember the last time? if collocini hadn't been walking below you'd have probably twisted your ankle or something...."

JG "but i'm really spiderman boss. i used to have the mask and everything..."

JC "well you don't ant the world knowing do you? spiderman has to keep his identity secret doesn't he? if you'd jumped off the roof and hurt yourself we'd have had to call an ambulance again wouldn't we? and then they see who spiderman really is? then what would happen?"

JG "we'd have to get tiote to kill the paramedics again?"

JC "exactly, and i can't afford the dry cleaning i'm getting through at the minute..."

*JC walks off and shouts "if you see Nile Ranger will you tell him if he plays with that nickel plated glock in training again i'm going to confiscate it...* to be continued.
Click to expand...

Gutierrez starts walking to the training pitches and hear's a bang.

JG "****ing hell, is this a sign?" Gutierrez runs to the changing room and grabs two more cans of silly string.

Lovenkrands runs in, cock tucked into his sock.

PL "****ing hell Jonas, Ranger has been shot with his own bullet!"

JG "How???" Jonas is looking angry, bouncing off walls spraying Lovenkrands in the face with silly string.

PL "He heard Tiote killed Morrison, so he shot Tiote, but it just bounced off him and hit Ranger in the penis. Ranger was going wild cos Morrison was going to play knocky nine doors when they got home. It's all kicking off out there, Ranger is fine, the cockney twat had a golden plate around his penis, Pardew is just sat at the side relaxing in Coloccini's hair"

JG "Right, that's it, **** what John Carver said, I am Spiderman, it's time for me to save this club."

Gutierrez runs outside towards the pitches...to be continued.
 
Speedo said:
AP "Hey Colo babes, mind me going to my happy place?"

Colo "Again Boss? If you really insist"

Enter Jonas Gutierrez from stage right, on the phone

JG "...jajajajajajaja Xisco ethethethetheth spiderman. Muchas toro rosso Chris Waddle hucho butro greggs pasties. Butros butros ghali." (Fast Show joke, sorry if you don't get it)

Puts phone down.

JG "Heeyya Colo, eess bozz in the hair again?"

Colo "He in there for sure, he say a little about Cheick maybe?"

AP (Muttering) "cannibal...strength...Obertan...murder" (Bursts out of hair) "EUREKA I've got it! Where's Gabby? I need Gabby!"

Colo "He go running down blind alleys again. No-one sees him"

JG "Do you need spiderman? Jajaja We catch him in webs"

Davide Santon enters stage left, on the phone.

DS "Hey, Mario, you sorting out-a Nile? Que? You do wee-wee on school children? You crazy. Ciao"

AP "David-day, have you seen Gabby O?"

DS "How you say...the man Carver has him cleaning dressing rooms... he says ultimate humiliation for being tackled by Gael Givet"

AP rings JC "Good thinking my geordie brother. Could you send Cheik in to the changing rooms? Yeah. Yeah. Obertan needs some discipline. Yeah. You're cleaning up the next lot"

EDIT: I got beaten to it...

EDIT EDIT: It actually makes sense if you read mine, and then read the last one on page 2...
Click to expand...

<laugh> <laugh> Go go go...
 
Fergie just on SSN saying "at this moment in time we've rejected an offer from Newcastle, we'll see how it progresses" On him staying "Demands are un-realistic as far as we are concerned"
 
The fact Man U really dont want to let him go says it all for me, we should continue bidding. It's not a lack of motivation on his part, they've simply hyped him up to a ridiculous stage (saying he's more talented than Scholes was) and he's still yet to even make a sub appearance in the league.
 
Gutierrez's Right Boot said:
Man Utd must be selling off the young'uns Gibson gone to Everton
Click to expand...

Everton pay money for a player? What's going on. I wouldn't be surprised if it was part of a deal that takes Rodwell or Barkley to OT in summer.

Megadeth NUFC said:
I hope this isn't our answer to lack of depth in the CB area. It would be a great signing for the future, but we need a CB that could play now if we suffer another ****ty injury to either Colo or Willo.
Click to expand...

Top footie knowledge there Tash <laugh>
 
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