Ben Alnwick, whose Kryptonite is Burnley (plus there's a sex tape of him somewhere on the internet)
Noe Pamarot, whose sole contribution to Spurs being that Pompey failing to pay for him helped us get a few quid off Defoe/Kaboul/Crouch/Kranjcar
Paul Stalteri, can't even be redeemed by a goal against West Ham due to numerous better players doing it more often
Ricardo Rocha, seemingly signed to fulfill a quota on centre backs
Ramon Vega, hard to ignore the rumours that he was signed so Christian Gross felt at home
Gilberto, only played seven times for us but his name lives in infamy
Paolo Tramezzani, only played six games for us (etc etc)
Ben Thatcher, took out his frustrations at being so **** on Pedro Mendes a few years later
Mbulelo Mabizela, who I can;t remember anything about
Thimothee Atouba, who scored against Newcastle and nothing else ever
Danny Murphy, a signing that made no sense then and still doesn't
David Bentley, who at the very least probably alerted Levy to the fact that Comolli wasn't working out
Rohan Ricketts, had a good couple of games before enthusiasm gave way to him not being very good
Alton Thelwell, like Ricketts but without the enthusiasm for his first few games
Oyvind Leonhardsen, our greatest midfielder that scores a few goals but does **** all else (see also: Jason Dozzell, Tim Sherwood, Jermaine Jenas, Clint Dempsey)
Emil Hallfredsson, signed to add competition for places only to never play for us
John Bostock, wasn't really worth the constant slander from Simon Jordan that Man Utd fans believed was justification for their kidnapping Berbatov
Nicola Berti, was a great player in his day but was arrived at WHL when he should've retired already
Stephane Dalmat, had quality but was also a head case who ended his chances of a permanent move by decking Jamie O'Hara
Neale Fenn, who made Rory Allen look like a beast in comparison
Andy Booth, a loan that made no sense at the time and still doesn't
Gregorz Rasiak, like Andy Booth but we paid a transfer fee
Helder Postiga, the sitter-missing machine...who helped eliminate England from Euro 2004!