Off Topic what else should we try to ban

I used to work alongside an Operations Director who’s first three words of response were,”ooh, yeah, no...” and then always go on to give some woolly explanation as to why his performance indicators and pretty graphs showed that production and efficiency were on the up, despite my numbers saying something quite the contrary.

Unfortunately, he enjoyed sucking off the CEO and fingering his anus, so I walked and let them get on with it. A right pair of ****ers, they were. The CEO was ex-PA Consulting and simply lurved a pretty picture over black & white numbers.

They’d have been welcomed in New Labour by the Blair Creature. In this Brave New World it doesn’t matter how things are, merely how they seem.

 

We had a similar experience about 2 months ago, but thankfully it was warmer then, Gray. Despite countless requests to get the boiler serviced (oo-er, missus) Mrs Uber was too busy watching CSI and those ultra-****e ghost shows on UK Brainless to lift her delicately manicured fingers, so the boiler got ****ed, then so did the immersion heater, then a leaking pipe into the hot water tank, then the shower pump. Cost me about two grand.

The good news, however, is that when the team went to investigate the eerie noise upstairs in the old stately home there wasn’t anything there. Again.

 

People who say “train station” instead of “railway station”.

 

People who describe buffet food as “little eats” and “tartlets” and tell you how “moreish” they are. I want to stab them in the head like Rick despatches Walkers.

 

Anger issues over quite petty things.

 

I’m braced for about 3 grand for this ****er, it’s a complicated house. But it will be worth it to get the feeling back in my feet and fingers. Now running the showers with no one in them in an attempt to make sure pipes don’t freeze. We knew the boiler needed updating but were paying British ****ing Gas to maintain it, never missed a service. ****s. Ban them.

 

Just **** off. **** OFF.

But we are going to buy a Vaillant boiler. British ****ing Gas, which don’t stock them or fit them, recommended it. ****s.

I’m going to keep on posting about this until it’s fixed or I die of pneumonia, which ever is sooner. Not because I want to bore people or expect any sympathy (this is a first world problem), feel free to ignore, but because I think the tapping away staves off frostbitten fingers.

 

Small independents are always better than the BG behemoth and usually considerably cheaper...

 

Independent bloke coming a 8 tomorrow morning to check it out (not the sometime between 9am and 6pm offered by British ****ing Gas), says it will be two days to fit and done this week.

 

Bicycles and the obnoxious, self-righteous, ignorant wan£ers that ride them. Usually four abreast down the lanes where I live. These cretins, dressed predominantly in lurid colours that would otherwise be used only to adorn a 5 year old girls birthday cake, sway all over the road creating a major hazard for motorists. They are an increasingly pervasive, vile irritation as they bunch along the roads at 9mph moseying from cafe to coffee house. They are probably vegetarians too. What a terrible and selfish way for ones mid-life crisis to manifest itself.

 

Here in NY the gas/electric company is responsible for the supple to your door, after that your on your own

 

Whilst you have my sympathies, as this this happened to us a few years ago, that exact phrase passed through my mind as I read about you fetching your skiing thermals.

 

Even though as a teenager I rode a bike everywhere, now cyclists irritate me endlessly. On the road they now require an entire lane and seem to have no problem holding up a queue of traffic. But my special contempt is reserved for those who ride on the pavement without regard to pedestrians. I can just about permit this in the under 12s, but blokes in their twenties in full rig, including the special hat, get shouted at.

 

The trend for celebrities (and now every CHAV/NED) to name their children after some mythical creature or some character in a movie/show.

Peaches Geldoff
Zowie Bowie
Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily (FFS)
Pochahontis
Maximus
North West

The list goes on....

 

Old hat, I was going to name my first born daughter Platform One (not where she was conceived btw) but was overruled by 'She who must be obeyed'. I'd obviously been under the influence of Frank Zappa and some peculiar cigarettes...

 

Storage heaters. They either heat up the room so it is hotter than the sun, or the ****ers do sod all so that it feels like Vladivostok on one of its 'chillier' days!

They are CRAP!!