Off Topic what else should we try to ban

  • Please bear with us on the new site integration and fixing any known bugs over the coming days. If you can not log in please try resetting your password and check your spam box. If you have tried these steps and are still struggling email [email protected] with your username/registered email address
  • Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!
Sooperhoop said:
People being interviewed who's first words of reply are "Yeh, no"...:headbang:
Click to expand...

I used to work alongside an Operations Director who’s first three words of response were,”ooh, yeah, no...” and then always go on to give some woolly explanation as to why his performance indicators and pretty graphs showed that production and efficiency were on the up, despite my numbers saying something quite the contrary.

Unfortunately, he enjoyed sucking off the CEO and fingering his anus, so I walked and let them get on with it. A right pair of ****ers, they were. The CEO was ex-PA Consulting and simply lurved a pretty picture over black & white numbers.

They’d have been welcomed in New Labour by the Blair Creature. In this Brave New World it doesn’t matter how things are, merely how they seem.
 
sb_73 said:
Have I mentioned British ****ing Gas? Now on day three of no hot water or central heating, and as you may have noticed it’s quite parky out (but warmer than actually in my house). Now the ****wits, who originally told us there was a good chance of getting a new one installed this weekend, inform us that they don’t stock a boiler suitable for our house, so we have at least another 3 or 4 days like this to get an alternative fitter in. At least we will be free forever of British ****ing Gas after that. I’ve had to join a ****ing health club to get a shower. But it does have a decent bar and restaurant. I didn’t want to come home. I’ve had to go up into the loft (estimated temperature -43) to break out the skiing thermals.

One very small upside is the wave of nostalgia brought on by sleeping in a bed piled high with blankets and throws, so heavy you can barely move under them. Took me back to visits to my grandmother’s seemingly heat free house in the sixties.
Click to expand...

We had a similar experience about 2 months ago, but thankfully it was warmer then, Gray. Despite countless requests to get the boiler serviced (oo-er, missus) Mrs Uber was too busy watching CSI and those ultra-****e ghost shows on UK Brainless to lift her delicately manicured fingers, so the boiler got ****ed, then so did the immersion heater, then a leaking pipe into the hot water tank, then the shower pump. Cost me about two grand.

The good news, however, is that when the team went to investigate the eerie noise upstairs in the old stately home there wasn’t anything there. Again.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kiwiqpr and sb_73
People who describe buffet food as “little eats” and “tartlets” and tell you how “moreish” they are. I want to stab them in the head like Rick despatches Walkers.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kiwiqpr
Uber_Hoop said:
We had a similar experience about 2 months ago, but thankfully it was warmer then, Gray. Despite countless requests to get the boiler serviced (oo-er, missus) Mrs Uber was too busy watching CSI and those ultra-****e ghost shows on UK Brainless to lift her delicately manicured fingers, so the boiler got ****ed, then so did the immersion heater, then a leaking pipe into the hot water tank, then the shower pump. Cost me about two grand.

The good news, however, is that when the team went to investigate the eerie noise upstairs in the old stately home there wasn’t anything there. Again.
Click to expand...
I’m braced for about 3 grand for this ****er, it’s a complicated house. But it will be worth it to get the feeling back in my feet and fingers. Now running the showers with no one in them in an attempt to make sure pipes don’t freeze. We knew the boiler needed updating but were paying British ****ing Gas to maintain it, never missed a service. ****s. Ban them.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Uber_Hoop
Oh how I wish we could ban Vaillant boilers and de'longhi radiators. Yesterday evening Mrs Nines was feeling somewhat chilly due to the inclement cold weather so she upped the boiler and turned on the oil filled de'longhi radiator. Within half an hour we sat there dripping with sweat as our living room mimicked the climate of a tropical rainforest. :emoticon-0141-whew:

In order to try and achieve some respite from this unpleasant situation we had to throw open all the doors and windows to try and alleviate this extreme heat. On the flip side of all this I've just returned from walking the dog absolutely freezing, I could barely feel my fingers or toes. But thankfully that was soon resolved with a steaming hot shower. So hurrah to them.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kiwiqpr and Uber_Hoop
QPR999 said:
Oh how I wish we could ban Vaillant boilers and de'longhi radiators. Yesterday evening Mrs Nines was feeling somewhat chilly due to the inclement cold weather so she upped the boiler and turned on the oil filled de'longhi radiator. Within half an hour we sat there dripping with sweat as our living room mimicked the climate of a tropical rainforest. :emoticon-0141-whew:

In order to try and achieve some respite from this unpleasant situation we had to throw open all the doors and windows to try and alleviate this extreme heat. On the flip side of all this I've just returned from walking the dog absolutely freezing, I could barely feel my fingers or toes. But thankfully that was soon resolved with a steaming hot shower. So hurrah to them.
Click to expand...
Just **** off. **** OFF.

But we are going to buy a Vaillant boiler. British ****ing Gas, which don’t stock them or fit them, recommended it. ****s.

I’m going to keep on posting about this until it’s fixed or I die of pneumonia, which ever is sooner. Not because I want to bore people or expect any sympathy (this is a first world problem), feel free to ignore, but because I think the tapping away staves off frostbitten fingers.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: kiwiqpr, Uber_Hoop and QPR999
sb_73 said:
Just **** off. **** OFF.

But we are going to buy a Vaillant boiler. British ****ing Gas, which don’t stock them or fit them, recommended it. ****s.
Click to expand...

We had the same thing with British Gas last month. In our area BG have and install Vaillant boilers, it must be a regional issue. They quoted us £2,300 for a Vaillant eco fit pure 418. The problem was it would take them 3 weeks to get round and install it. We got a local fitter off of Checkatrade to match the price and he came and fitted it the next day.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kiwiqpr, sb_73 and Uber_Hoop
QPR999 said:
We had the same thing with British Gas last month. In our area BG have and install Vaillant boilers, it must be a regional issue. They quoted us £2,300 for a Vaillant eco fit pure 418. The problem was it would take them 3 weeks to get round and install it. We got a local fitter off of Checkatrade to match the price and he came and fitted it the next day.
Click to expand...

Small independents are always better than the BG behemoth and usually considerably cheaper...
 
  • Like
Reactions: kiwiqpr, GoldhawkRoad, QPR999 and 1 other person
Bicycles and the obnoxious, self-righteous, ignorant wan£ers that ride them. Usually four abreast down the lanes where I live. These cretins, dressed predominantly in lurid colours that would otherwise be used only to adorn a 5 year old girls birthday cake, sway all over the road creating a major hazard for motorists. They are an increasingly pervasive, vile irritation as they bunch along the roads at 9mph moseying from cafe to coffee house. They are probably vegetarians too. What a terrible and selfish way for ones mid-life crisis to manifest itself.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kiwiqpr, Uber_Hoop, mapleranger and 1 other person
sb_73 said:
Just **** off. **** OFF.

But we are going to buy a Vaillant boiler. British ****ing Gas, which don’t stock them or fit them, recommended it. ****s.

I’m going to keep on posting about this until it’s fixed or I die of pneumonia, which ever is sooner. Not because I want to bore people or expect any sympathy (this is a first world problem), feel free to ignore, but because I think the tapping away staves off frostbitten fingers.
Click to expand...
Whilst you have my sympathies, as this this happened to us a few years ago, that exact phrase passed through my mind as I read about you fetching your skiing thermals.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sb_73
IwasanotherwatfordR said:
Bicycles and the obnoxious, self-righteous, ignorant wan£ers that ride them. Usually four abreast down the lanes where I live. These cretins, dressed predominantly in lurid colours that would otherwise be used only to adorn a 5 year old girls birthday cake, sway all over the road creating a major hazard for motorists. They are an increasingly pervasive, vile irritation as they bunch along the roads at 9mph moseying from cafe to coffee house. They are probably vegetarians too. What a terrible and selfish way for ones mid-life crisis to manifest itself.
Click to expand...
Even though as a teenager I rode a bike everywhere, now cyclists irritate me endlessly. On the road they now require an entire lane and seem to have no problem holding up a queue of traffic. But my special contempt is reserved for those who ride on the pavement without regard to pedestrians. I can just about permit this in the under 12s, but blokes in their twenties in full rig, including the special hat, get shouted at.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kiwiqpr, IwasanotherwatfordR and Ninj
Steelmonkey said:
The trend for celebrities (and now every CHAV/NED) to name their children after some mythical creature or some character in a movie/show.

Peaches Geldoff
Zowie Bowie
Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily (FFS)
Pochahontis
Maximus
North West

The list goes on....
Click to expand...

Old hat, I was going to name my first born daughter Platform One (not where she was conceived btw) but was overruled by 'She who must be obeyed'. I'd obviously been under the influence of Frank Zappa and some peculiar cigarettes...:grin:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Steelmonkey, Uber_Hoop and UTRs
Storage heaters. They either heat up the room so it is hotter than the sun, or the ****ers do sod all so that it feels like Vladivostok on one of its 'chillier' days!

They are CRAP!!
 
  • Like
Reactions: UTRs
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back