TJ vs Relic

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Teessidemakem said:
Ps. In fight club they are no rules!
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Actually there's 4 rules to fight club fella :p

The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. Thirdrule of Fight Club: Someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight.
 
Big Funk Allardyce said:
Actually there's 4 rules to fight club fella :p

The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. Thirdrule of Fight Club: Someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight.
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<yikes>. 3 of them rules have been broke!
What kind of fight organisation is this?
 
R2

Funky vs Juan

This takes place inside a good old boxing ring in an arena, the crowd are going wild for this main event.

Funk is the odds on favourite and the match goes to plan from the off, with Juan ducking and diving out of the way of Funks big hammer blows.

Funk is tiring though, and reverts to underhand tactics, he's poked a hole through his glove and dipped his finger in his Ooh Mama sauce, then in a flash whilst the ref was distracted by a bloke in the crowd with forearms like calves, Funk has put Ooh Mama sauce in Juan's arsehole... Juan doesn't know what to do, oh he's shat...

Juan has shat his pants and it's still coming out, oh what a mess... He's heading to the toilet whilst the ref makes a really slow ten count...

All Funk has to do now is stand still and he's won the fight, but the Ghost of Gonads has arrived in Funks head, blasting out a bit of James Brown and Funk has began a victory dance.... He's slipped over the referees shoe and fallen out of the ring and banged his head on the timekeepers bell (end).

He has somehow managed to fall UP three flights of stairs and smash through a window at the top of the arena... We are being told he's landed on a taxi and is completely out cold.

Meanwhile what's this... Here's Juan, surfing back to the ring on a river of bum chunder... 9.... Will he make it?..... Teeee....he's made it, he's the winner.

How did this happen, the biggest upset in Not606Mania history!
 
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Somehow managed to fall UP 3 flights of stairs.<laugh>.

Morning Terry you up bright and early.

Now step away from the mirror and go and eat some celery ya freak.
 
Typical_Juan said:
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Whos that knocking on your door Tel?

Quick out the bedroom window.

Relic old mates from Z cars have beentipped off somehow.

If they catch you i willl start a.petition on your behalf.

FREE THE MANC ONE.
 
commachio1 said:
Whos that knocking on your door Tel?

Quick out the bedroom window.

Relic old mates from Z cars have beentipped off somehow.

If they catch you i willl start a.petition on your behalf.

FREE THE MANC ONE.
Click to expand...

I could get showered, shave and dressed before that lot make it up the stairs <laugh>
 
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TJ v Relic.......the re match.

After the shame of knocking himself out with his own zimmer frame Relic is back. Hungry for revenge.

After watching his collection of football videos from the 1930s when men were men. Relic reckons hes got TJ number this time.

No zimmer frame this time. All them hours lifting mugs of horlicks have made him feel stronger and fitter. So much so that he even woke up with a semi on one morning.

The battle commences. Terry is finding it hard not to laugh. 'Come on you ****ing slug.' He chirps.

Relic advances at a steady one kilometre per hour. Bloodshot eyes (probably from all his pipe smoke).

Terry awaits as he has decided to end this oncr and for all.

Then blackness and girls giggling.

Terry awakes. He is strapped to a chair. Relic has aquired the services of the SAFC ladies team. Some of them are on the rag. Terry is fearful at this point.

'You want proof. Well do you. You Manc ****head?'

Then TJ see.s the gk take out a set of hot hair irons. He knows what is coming. The heat on his bellend was intense. His ball sack even worse. But nothing compared to the shrill of these evil banshre.s.

Relic looks pleased with himself.

'Finish the manc ****head of girls'

Those were his final words. As he then slipped on a Charlie Hurley sticker. Discarded by one of them bloody kids.

He never did regain conciousness. Nobody know what happened to TJ.

Rumours that he was devoured spread. But there was also talk that aftet the removal of his genitals he decided to join the banshees. He now plays midfield for SAFC ladies
under the name of Beth Goodtits.

Result void.
 
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commachio1 said:
TJ v Relic.......the re match.

After the shame of knocking himself out with his own zimmer frame Relic is back. Hungry for revenge.

After watching his collection of football videos from the 1930s when men were men. Relic reckons hes got TJ number this time.

No zimmer frame this time. All them hours lifting mugs of horlicks have made him feel stronger and fitter. So much so that he even woke up with a semi on one morning.

The battle commences. Terry is finding it hard not to laugh. 'Come on you ****ing slug.' He chirps.

Relic advances at a steady one kilometre per hour. Bloodshot eyes (probably from all his pipe smoke).

Terry awaits as he has decided to end this oncr and for all.

Then blackness and girls giggling.

Terry awakes. He is strapped to a chair. Relic has aquired the services of the SAFC ladies team. Some of them are on the rag. Terry is fearful at this point.

'You want proof. Well do you. You Manc ****head?'

Then TJ see.s the gk take out a set of hot hair irons. He knows what is coming. The heat on his bellend was intense. His ball sack even worse. But nothing compared to the shrill of these evil banshre.s.

Relic looks pleased with himself.

'Finish the manc ****head of girls'

Those were his final words. As he then slipped on a Charlie Hurley sticker. Discarded by one of them bloody kids.

He never did regain conciousness. Nobody know what happened to TJ.

Rumours that he was devoured spread. But there was also talk that aftet the removal of his genitals he decided to join the banshees. He now plays midfield for SAFC ladies
under the name of Beth Goodtits.

Result void.
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What an Arsehole.

I was hoping to get you in the next round!
 
Typical_Juan said:
What an Arsehole.

I was hoping to get you in the next round!
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Im still hiding out in a gogo.

Rumours of Billys impending release have forced me to think about my movements.

He will be looking for blood after being ravished inside.
 
Relic is out of the game. Your demise was never confirmed.

Billy will one day be released.

Tees is still going strong. But we need to watch out for QWOP.

The sneaky mag is lurking in the shadows. He needs dealing with. I might send some of the dancers and catch him in a honey trap.
 
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commachio1 said:
Relic is out of the game. Your demise was never confirmed.

Billy will one day be released.

Tees is still going strong. But we need to watch out for QWOP.

The sneaky mag is lurking in the shadows. He needs dealing with. I might send some of the dancers and catch him in a honey trap.
Click to expand...
Still locked up but jesus ****ing wept. I've got an arse like a blood orange!!!!
 
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