The Quotes place

[PleaseNotPoll]

”He came walking down the corridor and said: ‘Ah you must be Edward Sheringham’. I told him I was, but I preferred to be called Teddy. He said: ‘OK, welcome to the club, Edward’.”
Teddy Sheringham about his first day at Forest and meeting Brian Clough.

 

[Spurf]

Defoe was level and anyone who says otherwise is picking hairs

John Motson

 

[remembercolinlee]

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

Billy Connolly

 

[Spurf]

He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces

Ron Atkinson

 

[remembercolinlee]

"I saw the execution of Saddam Hussien on the Internet and it really made me think....Is there nothing I won't masterbate to?"

Frankie Boyle

 

[Spurf]

“Working in Poundstretcher for no wages…working in a shop where everything is worth a quid except you."

Kevin Bridges

 

[Spurf]

On Rangers going into liquidation: "Scottish football is famously a two horse race and we've now lost a horse. Scottish football has become showjumping."

Kevin Bridges

 

[Alfie Conn]

If its not working I will pull you off at half time
Alf Ramsey
That sounds good we only get oranges at QPR
Rodney Marsh

 

[Alfie Conn]

Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining
From Outlaw Josey Wales

 

[Alfie Conn]

If you go in my purse again I'll chop your balls off you little ****er
My Mum

 

[Spurf]

“Life is what happens to you, While you're busy making other plans.” .

John Lennon

 

[Alfie Conn]

I'm not afraid of dying, I just dont want to be there when it happens
Spike Milligan

 

[Spurf]

I'm not afraid of dying, I just dont want to be there when it happens
Spike Milligan

I thought that was Woody Alan

Spike Milligan's choice for his gravestone.

I told you I was ill.

 

[Alfie Conn]

I refuse to join a club that would have me as a member
Groucho Marx

 

[Spurf]

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Spike Milligan

 

[Alfie Conn]

It was a woman who drove me to drink, I never thanked her
WC Fields

 

[Alfie Conn]

That thing under your kilt is gruesome, aye lasse look again it's gruesome more
Anonymous

 

[Spurf]

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

George Burns

 

[Spurf]

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

George Burns

 

[Spurf]

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

George Burns