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My budgie broke its leg so I made it a splint out of two matches. His little face lit up when he started walking.
There was a big fight at a gypo wedding. It goes to court and the judge asks if anyone can explain what happened. Paddy explains that he was best man and was dancing with the bride and the groom ran over and kicked her in the fanny. The judge said "that must have hurt" and Paddy said "it bloody did. He broke three of my ****ing fingers".