Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

[kiwiqpr]

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[kiwiqpr]

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Police in Dundee are guarding the statue of Desperate Dan amid reports that a mob of angry vegans tried to tear it down last night but didn’t have the energy.

 

[kiwiqpr]

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[kiwiqpr]

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[kiwiqpr]

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[kiwiqpr]

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[Diego]

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[kiwiqpr]

Just opened a birthday card and loads of rice fell out of it.

Must have been from my uncle Ben.

 

[kiwiqpr]

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[kiwiqpr]

Don't fall for the 'Deep-fry your money in batter' investment scam - that's how I frittered away all my savings.

 

[kiwiqpr]

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[Diego]

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[kiwiqpr]

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[Diego]

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Well primed and carried off to perfection.

 

[Garlic Klopp]

I just told my new girlfriend that I suffer from premature ejaculation...
Fair play to her though she took it on the chin.

 

[Garlic Klopp]

There was panic at last year’s Paranoid Schizophrenia Association annual pantomime, when someone from the audience shouted “he’s behind you”.

 

[kiwiqpr]

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[kiwiqpr]

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[kiwiqpr]

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[kiwiqpr]

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