Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

  • Please bear with us on the new site integration and fixing any known bugs over the coming days. If you can not log in please try resetting your password and check your spam box. If you have tried these steps and are still struggling email [email protected] with your username/registered email address
  • Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!
jenners04 said:
i found this funny so thought i would post.

Just a quick reminder to be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and the police are out checking on people.
Last night it was a standard pre Christmas drink for me and my mates one thing lead to another and we had a few too many drinks so I decided to take bus home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint on King Street where they were pulling over drivers and doing breathalyser tests but because I was in a bus they just waved it past.
I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I had never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.
Click to expand...
<laugh> <cracker>
 
Racism is bad because people shouldn't be judged on the colour of their skin and the sooner white people realise this the better.
 
I once knew a Swiss woman who could open a bottle in her cleavage, take a stone from a horses hoof with her finger and take a screw out with her thumb

She was a Swiss Army Wife
 
  • Like
Reactions: THE FOOL
A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.'
So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at sex.'
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the Sex God that he was.

The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a sex freak?'
The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's thighs.
The Jamaican began screaming.

'You got dem on de wrong feet!'
 
  • Like
Reactions: kiwiqpr
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back