1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Garlic Klopp, Jan 13, 2014.

Page 153 of 345
  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,593
    Likes Received:
    215,433
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3041
    kiwiqpr, Nov 26, 2018
    luvgonzo and Alisson Becker is N01 like this.
  2. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,822
    Likes Received:
    6,719
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3042
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Nov 27, 2018
    kiwiqpr likes this.
  3. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,822
    Likes Received:
    6,719
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3043
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Nov 27, 2018
  4. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,822
    Likes Received:
    6,719
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3044
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Nov 27, 2018
  5. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,822
    Likes Received:
    6,719
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3045
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Nov 27, 2018
  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,593
    Likes Received:
    215,433
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3046
    kiwiqpr, Nov 27, 2018
  7. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2011
    Messages:
    57,485
    Likes Received:
    9,843
    I said to my Scouse mate "There's been a murder at Morrisons" He says "As der". I said "No. Morrisons , you thick twat".
     
    #3047
    Red Hadron Collider, Nov 28, 2018
    kiwiqpr likes this.
  8. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,822
    Likes Received:
    6,719
    A man visits the council to apply for a job

    During his job interview, the interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" to which the man replies "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

    "Ok, have you ever been in the military service before?"

    "Yes," he says. "I was in Iraq for one tour."

    The interviewer replies "That will give you 5 extra points towards employment." After this, he asks "Are you disabled in any way?"

    The applicant says "Yes, a bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles"

    After hearing this, the interviewer grimaces and then says "Okay. You have enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are 8am to 4pm. You can start tomorrow at 10am, and plan on starting at 10am every day"

    The man is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8am to 4pm, why don't you want me here until 10am?"

    "This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that"
     
    #3048
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Nov 28, 2018
    organic red likes this.
  9. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,822
    Likes Received:
    6,719
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3049
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Nov 28, 2018
    kiwiqpr likes this.
  10. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2012
    Messages:
    16,369
    Likes Received:
    11,602
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3050
    Garlic Klopp, Nov 29, 2018
    kiwiqpr likes this.

  11. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,822
    Likes Received:
    6,719
    please log in to view this image



    please log in to view this image
    ixty year old John went on to his annual checkup. The doctor asked him if he was still getting up in the middle of the night and going to the bathroom.

    He replied, "Yes But the lord has made it much better for me, He turns on the light when I go and He turns off the light when I am done".

    The doctor replied, "Really"!!!

    About and hour after that the doctor called Johns wife and said: He looks fine. But he said that God is making it better for him, when he gets up and Goes to the bathroom during the night God turns on and off the light.

    She replied, "that old fool he has been going to the bathroom in the refrigerator again
     
    #3051
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Nov 30, 2018
    kiwiqpr likes this.
  12. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,822
    Likes Received:
    6,719
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3052
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Nov 30, 2018
  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,593
    Likes Received:
    215,433
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3053
    kiwiqpr, Nov 30, 2018
    Bumps and organic red like this.
  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,593
    Likes Received:
    215,433
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3054
    kiwiqpr, Nov 30, 2018
    Garlic Klopp and THE FOOL like this.
  15. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,822
    Likes Received:
    6,719
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3055
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Dec 1, 2018
  16. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,822
    Likes Received:
    6,719
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3056
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Dec 1, 2018
  17. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,822
    Likes Received:
    6,719
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3057
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Dec 1, 2018
  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,593
    Likes Received:
    215,433
    please log in to view this image

    Nice photo of a very young Wayne Rooney taken with his mum
     
    #3058
    kiwiqpr, Dec 2, 2018
    Alisson Becker is N01 and organic red like this.
  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,593
    Likes Received:
    215,433
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3059
    kiwiqpr, Dec 2, 2018
    THE FOOL likes this.
  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,593
    Likes Received:
    215,433
    everton put up the club christmas tree
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3060
    kiwiqpr, Dec 2, 2018
    Alisson Becker is N01 and organic red like this.
Page 153 of 345

Share This Page