It was the day of the the Arsenal match to
London. After half an hour on the coach, Syd had to
get up to go to the toilet. On the way back to his seat, the bus
lurched and he was thrown onto the lap of an old woman,
accidentally putting his hand on her huge breast as he tried
to save himself.
“I’m so very sorry,” he stammered, “but if your heart is as
big as your breast, I’ll see you in heaven.”
She replied, “Oh no, Syd, if your willy’s as hard as I think it
is, I’ll see you in the hotel.”
we won 2-1 that day
....and you scored Syd

It's not over till the fat lady sings Syd. Time for some last minute campaigning to win votes? 