Suarez defence - can... you... believe.... it - unbelievable!
He still hasn't come to terms regarding his transgression.
Luis Suarez bite: 'I lost my balance and fell on Chiellini'
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Uruguay's Luis Suarez says he lost his balance and did not bite Italy's Giorgio Chiellini at the World Cup.
Football's world governing body Fifa banned Suarez, 27, for four months and nine international matches for biting Chiellini in a group match on Tuesday.
Uruguay have told Fifa they intend to appeal against the decision.
"I lost my balance, making my body unstable and falling on top of my opponent," wrote Suarez in his defence to Fifa.
"At that moment I hit my face against the player leaving a small bruise on my cheek and a strong pain in my teeth."
In a Fifa disciplinary committee document, the Liverpool striker added: "In no way it happened how you have described, as a bite or intent to bite."
However, a seven-man Fifa panel concluded that the bite was "deliberate, intentional and without provocation".
In its reasoning for the severity of the ban, Fifa added: "At no time did the player show any kind of remorse or admit to any violation of Fifa rules and therefore showed no awareness of having committed any infraction."
Uruguay lodged their intention to appeal on Friday and have until next Sunday to submit a full written appeal.
http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/28069689
It reads a little like the David Walliams' MP character in 'Little Britain'.
"I happened to be in the same toilet cubicle as my constituent, when I lost my balance and a piece of me became inserted in a piece of him."
