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'Local hero' DMD managed to single-handedly fight off six masked intruders last week. Apparently the frightening gang had been terrorising the neighbourhood, but they met their match in Ju-Jitsu grand master DMD, despite each being armed with deadly weapons.
"While most people would have been scared to confront such a terrible threat, I knew my well honed martial arts skills would be too much for any gang. The neighbourhood can sleep peacefully tonight." Said DMD.
One neighbour added "You should see the state of my five year old daughter and her friends! They're all in hospital. That's the last time they are allowed to go 'trick or treating' around here. That crazy man should be locked up!"