Post a lie about the poster above.

At school, Obi Wan refused to learn Algebra because he was certain he'd never go there anyway.

 

At school, DMD thought that 'short division' was a class for people under 5ft tall.

 

Obi was changed his name when he found out he could be Magnus Magnusson's son's great grandson.

 

For over fifteen years, DMD actually thought his team were called Hull City Nil.

 

Obi voted against a change in Newcastle's shirt colours saying a black and white tv was good enough for the last time they won a trophy, it should be good enough if ever there's a next.

 

Woopert's name is due to a misunderstanding between him and his father.

Woopert answered the door to the bailiffs, and shouted "dad, there's a man at the door with a bill" and his dad said "don't be so stupid, it'll be a duck with a hat on".

 

DMD's forthcoming stand-up comedy tour is a complete sell-out!

 

DMD gave to A&E staff a laugh with his explanation for how the rolling pin got stuck in that position

 

Minxy did something very mean to DMD with a rolling pin.

 

Minxy doing nothing to him with the rolling pin would be what Obi Wan would see as the meanest thing.

I must point out, the position of the rolling pin and the stand up routine are not connected. One is pain, the other pleasure.

 

<<<<<< BREAKING NEWS >>>>>>

'Local hero' DMD managed to single-handedly fight off six masked intruders last week. Apparently the frightening gang had been terrorising the neighbourhood, but they met their match in Ju-Jitsu grand master DMD, despite each being armed with deadly weapons.

"While most people would have been scared to confront such a terrible threat, I knew my well honed martial arts skills would be too much for any gang. The neighbourhood can sleep peacefully tonight." Said DMD.

One neighbour added "You should see the state of my five year old daughter and her friends! They're all in hospital. That's the last time they are allowed to go 'trick or treating' around here. That crazy man should be locked up!"

 

Obi Wan wrote the previous reply from his hospital bed. Having been inspired by DMD's exploit's he tried the same, but unfortunately for him, the five year olds over powered him.

 

Since the removal of said rolling pin DMD walks with a limp

 

Minxy likes to help with a gentle rubbing lotion to help the limp and subsequent stiffness.

 

Woopert feels life's so unfair. When most people are a bit under the weather they get tea and sympathy, but when he's not feeling himself he gets slapped across the face and screamed at.

 

Ever since being hypnotised, whenever DMD hears "Dancing Queen" by ABBA he jumps onto the nearest table and starts to strut his stuff like one of the girls. And so it shall be, always.

 

Woopert's Duck holds the national breast stroke record. He once lasted 37 minutes stroking Minxy's before getting slapped round the face and thrown into the cellar.