Off Topic OT: Getting paid for...(**** thread)

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Bring Back the Snails>

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Zanjinho said:
Just realised I've not had a **** today...<yikes>
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Feck me phone an ambulance, surely thats not normal?

PS unless you are a woman, they have strange shyting routines so in that case you are probably ok, you just need to have three shredded wheat with a load of real sugar on for supper.

PPS this is not medical advice and i take no responsibility for any unusual outcomes.
 
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terrifictraore said:
Feck me phone an ambulance, surely thats not normal?

PS unless you are a woman, they have strange shyting routines so in that case you are probably ok, you just need to have three shredded wheat with a load of real sugar on for supper.

PPS this is not medical advice and i take no responsibility for any unusual outcomes.
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or stop putting objects in his butt :bandit:
 
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Normally I don't **** until normally right after I've eaten the first food of the day, it's cool, it's like I can control my ****ting schedule
 
Milking rocks said:
So... A little backstory:
Or chest story as it may be in this case.

Every once in a blue moon if I bend over or bend my chest somehow, I get this godawful pain in my rib cage. Almost feels like a rib bending out of place or dislocating. It's only for a handful of seconds and moving my torso bends it back or relocates the rib (not sure exactly what pain is from) and then the pain fades and becomes duller.


So I'm at my father in law's house pooping earlier today. Poop, wipe, stand, turn to flu... Wtf is that?

In the bowl is what looks like a 3cm square of black leather floating amongst the jetsam of my rather fragmented semi diahrretic poop.

Naturally, I'm intrigued and bend to get a closer look. *Pop* get that pain in my chest. The one that feels like a rib bone dislocating.

It was a horrible pain such that I was unable to straighten. For a split second I had the horrible thought, what if it were a heart attack and I collapse face forwards into my own faeces. Even worse than Gerrez's fate.

Fortunately pain went away and I was able to gingerly straighten my torso.

Does.anyone else get those pains? I get them about twice a year. I also get a similar feeling (but not quite as bad) pain occasionally in my neck if I yawn and stretch my mouth too much.

Still not sure what the black square was. I flushed after the pain not wanting another look. I would guess olive skin if I had had olives in the last 24hrs. Had some on pizza on Thursday.

Next guess would be mushroom, I had a spinach and mushroom.omlette for breakfast... But the mushrooms arnt black and normally get digested.

All a bit of a mystery really. Any ideas?
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This is obviously karma for making up the entire gerrez died on the ****ter story old son.

It would have to be a giant olive you swallowed whole if it's 3cm square surely so its probably just the lining of your large intestine being shat out.

Are you a chronic user of laxatives?
 
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Milking rocks said:
So... A little backstory:
Or chest story as it may be in this case.

Every once in a blue moon if I bend over or bend my chest somehow, I get this godawful pain in my rib cage. Almost feels like a rib bending out of place or dislocating. It's only for a handful of seconds and moving my torso bends it back or relocates the rib (not sure exactly what pain is from) and then the pain fades and becomes duller.


So I'm at my father in law's house pooping earlier today. Poop, wipe, stand, turn to flu... Wtf is that?

In the bowl is what looks like a 3cm square of black leather floating amongst the jetsam of my rather fragmented semi diahrretic poop.

Naturally, I'm intrigued and bend to get a closer look. *Pop* get that pain in my chest. The one that feels like a rib bone dislocating.

It was a horrible pain such that I was unable to straighten. For a split second I had the horrible thought, what if it were a heart attack and I collapse face forwards into my own faeces. Even worse than Gerrez's fate.

Fortunately pain went away and I was able to gingerly straighten my torso.

Does.anyone else get those pains? I get them about twice a year. I also get a similar feeling (but not quite as bad) pain occasionally in my neck if I yawn and stretch my mouth too much.

Still not sure what the black square was. I flushed after the pain not wanting another look. I would guess olive skin if I had had olives in the last 24hrs. Had some on pizza on Thursday.

Next guess would be mushroom, I had a spinach and mushroom.omlette for breakfast... But the mushrooms arnt black and normally get digested.

All a bit of a mystery really. Any ideas?
Click to expand...


See a doctor you dopey **** instead of asking us halfwits <laugh>
 
moreinjuredthanowen said:
This is obviously karma for making up the entire gerrez died on the ****ter story old son.

It would have to be a giant olive you swallowed whole if it's 3cm square surely so its probably just the lining of your large intestine being shat out.

Are you a chronic user of laxatives?
Click to expand...


Never use laxatives. Never needed to. I always poop at least once a day.
 
Milking rocks said:
Well that was months ago now and I'm still alive. Never found out what it was.
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Talking about the thing you say happens twice a year.. not the black knuckle you shat out <laugh>

if you eat pizza like I do, anything could be on there and I scarp it down too fast to even notice <yikes>
 
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