Mackem Jokes

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A Mackem fan walks into a pub with his dog just as the football scores come on the TV. The announcer says that Sunderland have lost 3-0 and the dog immediately rolls over on its back, sticks its paws in the air and plays dead.
"That's amazing," says the barman, "what does he do when they win?"

The Mackem Fan scratches his head for a couple of minutes and finally replies, "I dunno... I've only had the dog for eight months."
 
A man's body was found in the Tyne yesterday. He was dressed in a Sunderland shirt, mini-skirt, fishnets, suspender belt, high heels and a dildo rammed up his arse.
Police have removed the shirt to save the family embarrassment.
 
Tell tale signs you are living in Sunderland:

1. Your have a poster of Jimmy Savile smiling as a role model.

2. You let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

3. You've been married 3 times and still have the same in laws.

4. The phrase "Thunderbirds are go!" reminds you the off licence has just opened.

5. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

6. One or more of your kids was born on a pool table.

7. One or more of your kids was conceived on a pool table.

8. You can't get married to your childhood sweetheart because of the current bestiality laws
 
A man from Sunderland who appeared on the Embarrassing Bodies show, was delighted to find out that the red rash around his penis was only his sister's lipstick!
 
News that they tried to talk him out with the offer of two Sunderland season tickets are thought to be the final straw.....
 
I like to refer to my Missus as my 'Angel of the North' as she is from Sunderland and also because she is ****ing massive.
 
Sam Allardyce was in a press conference back in 2007, and was asked if he was concerned about the possibility of Titus Bramble joining rivals Sunderland on a free transfer (he eventually signed for Wigan).

Sam replied: "No, I'm not worried. In fact, I think it will improve the average IQ of both teams"
 
Q Whats the difference between a washing machine and a lass from sunderland
A You can dump your load in a washing machine and it wont follow you around for a week.



Q; What do you do if a Mackem throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
 
Albert's Chip Shop said:
What's funnier is a guy who for over 5 months doesn't post... then suddenly makes his first post.... on a rivals board.
Just saying like.
Click to expand...

You truly are unbelievable. Always on the Sunderland board trying to be "one of the lads". Truth is you can dish it out but can't take it. I think your Mackem Jokes thread just blew up in your face.
 
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