Jokes

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Only in Ipswich I swear!!

I have just been to the shell garage for petrol and I've seen 2 police were watching a woman who was smoking while filling her car up. I thought, is she stupid, crazy, or both, especially with the police standing RIGHT there?! . I minded my own business put 30 quid in and went inside to pay.

As I was paying I heard the crazy bitch screaming!! I’m talking violent death screams! I looked outside and I saw that this woman's arm was on fire!!!! She was swinging her arm, running around. I ran outside, the police had the woman on the ground and they were putting the fire out!!

Then they put handcuffs on her and put her in the police car. I was a bit shocked, couldn't believe they arrested her, surely she ought to be in an ambulance, not a police car? Me being nosey as I am, I asked the policeman what they were arresting her for.

He looked at me, dead serious, and said, "WAVING A FIRE ARM”!!
 
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An old man goes to a bar and asks for a large brandy.. "Problem?, asks the barman. "Well, I just got two Thai women to go to be with me, and I thought I had won the Lottery and I was right. We had six balls between us"
 
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