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Jokes
- Thread starter ellandback
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Only in Ipswich I swear!!
I have just been to the shell garage for petrol and I've seen 2 police were watching a woman who was smoking while filling her car up. I thought, is she stupid, crazy, or both, especially with the police standing RIGHT there?! . I minded my own business put 30 quid in and went inside to pay.
As I was paying I heard the crazy bitch screaming!! I’m talking violent death screams! I looked outside and I saw that this woman's arm was on fire!!!! She was swinging her arm, running around. I ran outside, the police had the woman on the ground and they were putting the fire out!!
Then they put handcuffs on her and put her in the police car. I was a bit shocked, couldn't believe they arrested her, surely she ought to be in an ambulance, not a police car? Me being nosey as I am, I asked the policeman what they were arresting her for.
He looked at me, dead serious, and said, "WAVING A FIRE ARM”!!
I have just been to the shell garage for petrol and I've seen 2 police were watching a woman who was smoking while filling her car up. I thought, is she stupid, crazy, or both, especially with the police standing RIGHT there?! . I minded my own business put 30 quid in and went inside to pay.
As I was paying I heard the crazy bitch screaming!! I’m talking violent death screams! I looked outside and I saw that this woman's arm was on fire!!!! She was swinging her arm, running around. I ran outside, the police had the woman on the ground and they were putting the fire out!!
Then they put handcuffs on her and put her in the police car. I was a bit shocked, couldn't believe they arrested her, surely she ought to be in an ambulance, not a police car? Me being nosey as I am, I asked the policeman what they were arresting her for.
He looked at me, dead serious, and said, "WAVING A FIRE ARM”!!
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2020VisionofLeeds
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A prostitute starts her first day on the game and was told by her pimp "no sex for the first 7 days, only ****s"
She asked "why only ****s"?
He replied, "union rules, you gotta work a week in hand"
She asked "why only ****s"?
He replied, "union rules, you gotta work a week in hand"
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Boy comes home from school and tells his dad he has just had sex with his teacher. His dad is quite proud of the lad and says he'll buy him a bike. The boy says he'd rather have a football because his bum is still sore.