Jokes
- Thread starter ellandback
- Start date
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I didn't believe my wife when she said she wanted to go and see The Monkees in concert in Switzerland, and then I saw her face. Now I'm in Geneva.
brisbane-lion
Well-Known Member
American's "Letter to the Editor". "I think it's unfair to castigate Lance Armstrong for winning seven Tours de France while on drugs. When I was on drugs I couldn't even find my bike." (True story)
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.
She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you use to bite my neck."
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going ?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"
She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you use to bite my neck."
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going ?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"
i was asked if i could help to re-turf a local pitch so some historical society could do a reenactment of a civil war battle, unfortunately it was on a saturday and i thought **** that for a game of soldiers
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i had to thank my neighbour after a recent torrential downpour for lending me a large thick waterproof sheet for my leaky garden shed....ta pauline
i hate it when my finger goes through the bog roll....that aside it's not all bad working in a care home